{"@context":"http://iiif.io/api/presentation/3/context.json","id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/iiif/z02z31pd16/manifest","type":"Manifest","label":{"en":["Henderson, Steve| Henderson, Phyllis, Death and Dying"]},"logo":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/organizations/logo_images/000/000/004/original/ISULogo.png?1601681107","metadata":[{"label":{"en":["Preferred Citation"]},"value":{"en":["Death and Dying. Iowa State University Lecture Series (RS 8/6/53). Special Collections and University Archives, Iowa State University Library, Ames, Iowa."]}},{"label":{"en":["Publisher"]},"value":{"en":["Iowa State University. Special Collections and University Archives"]}},{"label":{"en":["Rights Statement"]},"value":{"en":["There are no restrictions on access. (access)","This item is protected by copyright and/or related rights. You are free to use this item in any way that is permitted by the copyright and related rights legislation that applies to your use. 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Yes.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=17.371,18.204"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/3","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003e -:\u003c/strong\u003e Okay, fine, thanks.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=18.204,19.563"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/4","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I wanna welcome you this evening","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=23.791,26.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/5","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to a presentation by Steve and Phyllis Henderson,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=26.19,31.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/6","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"on the topic of facing life through death.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=31.8,35.923"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/7","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I really don't wanna give the traditional kind","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=38.58,42.21"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/8","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"of introduction, partly because Steve and Phyllis","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=42.21,46.07"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/9","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"are gonna tell you a good bit about themselves","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=46.07,48.68"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/10","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"in the course of their presentation tonight.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=48.68,51.583"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/11","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think what I would personally like to say","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=54.15,58.14"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/12","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"is that my association with them goes back","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=59.18,64.18"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/13","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"a good many years.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=64.6,65.773"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/14","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think it was back,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=67.56,68.85"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/15","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think we were figuring the other day, it was back in 1964,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=68.85,72.45"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/16","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that Steve showed up in a counseling class","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=72.45,77.01"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/17","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that I taught in psychology,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=77.01,79.173"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/18","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and still almost went behind the years,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=80.27,84.84"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/19","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"from having spent some time in the program in education.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=84.84,89.123"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/20","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"We got along 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1965,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=101.33,106.2"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/25","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"he began to suffer the effects of his kidney failure,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=108.22,112.98"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/26","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and finally left school for a kidney transplant operation","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=112.98,117.98"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/27","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"in early 1966 I believe, is that right?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=119.03,122.223"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/28","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I frankly did not expect to see Steve alive 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field,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=233.72,235.81"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/57","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that they feel have been very important to them,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=235.81,239.72"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/58","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"very useful to them.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=239.72,241.6"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/59","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"These are on a table back in the lobby,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=241.6,244.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/60","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"outside the back of the auditorium.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=244.99,247.32"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/61","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"During a break or afterwards,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=247.32,249.7"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/62","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"if you'd like to stop and look at those,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=249.7,251.7"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/63","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"be very happy to have you do so.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=253.901,255.523"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/64","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"As I say, I really don't wanna spend time going","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=257.764,260.63"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/65","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"into a long list of their qualifications, and activities,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=260.63,263.83"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/66","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and things like that, because that will become very evident","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=263.83,266.28"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/67","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"as they make their presentation,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=266.28,268.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/68","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"which is very personal as well,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=268.38,271.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/69","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"as a professional kind of presentation.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=271.41,273.6"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/70","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So with that, I would like to introduce to you,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=273.6,276.57"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/71","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Steve and Phyllis Henderson.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=276.57,278.193"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/72","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"(audience applauding)","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=281.745,284.912"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/73","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003e -:\u003c/strong\u003e Well, it's nice to be back at Iowa State,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=319.07,321.74"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/74","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but I'm glad I'm not taking classes anymore frankly.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=321.74,324.34"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/75","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Since Ed has told you about us,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=329.31,331.0"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/76","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I should say something about Ed.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=331.0,332.77"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/77","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I remember that after several years","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=332.77,337.16"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/78","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"of not sending Christmas letters or anything,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=337.16,339.11"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/79","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"we wrote you a little while back,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=339.11,340.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/80","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and Ed wrote back saying thank goodness he'd heard from us,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=340.53,344.74"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/81","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"'cause he just he assumed","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=344.74,346.25"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/82","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that I'd probably died in the interim.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=346.25,348.193"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/83","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Today we're gonna share personally from our own experiences,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=353.64,358.08"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/84","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"from two points of view,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=358.08,359.45"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/85","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it's kind of a two-part presentation.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=359.45,361.86"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/86","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"First of all, I'm gonna talk about some of the feelings","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=361.86,365.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/87","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that I had in facing death,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=367.48,368.85"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/88","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and then also learning to live with a long-term condition.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=368.85,372.523"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/89","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And then Phyllis is gonna speak on the same topic,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=373.45,376.59"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/90","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"from the viewpoint of the family member.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=376.59,378.59"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/91","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'd like to start out by sharing an image with you.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=383.53,388.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/92","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"If you can imagine laying in bed, either at home,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=391.19,395.58"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/93","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"or in the hospital, and you're full of pain medication,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=395.58,399.82"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/94","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and not feeling too well.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=399.82,401.593"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/95","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And you look over towards the door,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=402.681,403.92"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/96","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and there's there's this six foot cupcake","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=403.92,405.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/97","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"comes In the room","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=405.53,406.58"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/98","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And you know there's somebody behind the cupcake","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=408.35,410.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/99","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"'cause it moves.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=410.13,411.98"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/100","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And a cupcake comes up by your bed, and it stops.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=411.98,415.71"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/101","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And sure enough somebody peeks out and they say, hi, Steve.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=415.71,418.59"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/102","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And you talk about the cupcake, isn't the icing nice,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=418.59,421.79"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/103","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and it's got my name on the ribbon,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=421.79,423.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/104","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and it was such a thoughtful gift.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=423.1,425.253"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/105","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"You know, I think we all come to other people","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=427.9,429.8"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/106","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"with our cupcakes, the things that shield us,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=429.8,432.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/107","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that get in our way of really touching and relating.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=432.19,434.79"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/108","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And often it is things like cupcakes.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=435.64,438.06"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/109","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"People are always asking me, what is it that I bring?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=438.06,441.08"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/110","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"What should I take when I go visit someone?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=441.08,443.23"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/111","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I happen to like cupcakes, and I just assume you bring 'em,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=444.62,447.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/112","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but I don't want you to hide behind 'em.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=447.19,449.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/113","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So I'm gonna start out tonight by singing.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=450.8,454.55"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/114","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I do this for a number of reasons.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=454.55,456.79"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/115","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"One is that death you see is not an academic,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=456.79,459.51"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/116","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"or an intellectual issue, it's an emotional one.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=459.51,462.093"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/117","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And most people don't intellectualize a song.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=463.01,465.593"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/118","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So maybe it helps us get in the right frame of mind.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=467.89,470.35"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/119","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And while I'm singing,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=470.35,472.68"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/120","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'd like you to get in touch with what your cupcakes are,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=472.68,475.03"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/121","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and put 'em aside at least for tonight.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=475.03,476.72"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/122","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And maybe you don't even need to take 'em","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=476.72,477.94"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/123","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"with you when you leave.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=477.94,479.14"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/124","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Let me give you some other examples of cupcakes.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=480.45,483.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/125","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think the one I use a lot is my professional role.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=483.13,486.6"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/126","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"When I wanna keep my distance,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=486.6,487.97"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/127","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and I'm too tired to really relate, I become a counselor.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=487.97,491.15"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/128","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"My voice changes.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=491.15,493.09"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/129","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I say very wise things that nobody wants to hear.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=493.09,496.353"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/130","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I've noticed that ministers tend to use prayers as cupcakes.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=498.73,502.67"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/131","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And unless the minister knows me, the longer the prayer is.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=502.67,505.46"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/132","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And some of 'em come in my room and pray at me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=505.46,507.3"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/133","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"without even finding out what my name is.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=507.3,509.35"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/134","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think all of us use our titles and our roles and so on.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=513.59,517.2"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/135","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And you know even being a student can be a title,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=517.2,520.403"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/136","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and you can use the student to keep you separated","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=521.74,525.21"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/137","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"from the people who use the professor","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=525.21,528.52"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/138","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to keep them separated from you.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=528.52,530.35"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/139","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It can go both ways however.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=530.35,532.89"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/140","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Nurses tend to use stethoscopes, thermometers,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=532.89,536.04"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/141","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"clipboards as cupcakes.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=536.04,538.273"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/142","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And some people even use helping,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=540.15,541.973"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/143","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"as a way of really not relating.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=543.5,545.23"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/144","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"They come in and say, may I help?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=545.23,546.85"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/145","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And it's a demand.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=546.85,548.083"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/146","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So some of you that are in the hospital very often","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=549.31,551.49"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/147","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"what I would suggest is that you put a flower pot","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=551.49,553.71"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/148","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"on the window seal,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=553.71,554.543"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/149","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and have the first person move it to the dresser.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=554.543,556.9"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/150","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"The next person can move it back.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=556.9,558.563"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/151","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And then some of the people after doing something helpful,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=560.04,563.48"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/152","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"will be able to relax enough to be really with you,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=563.48,565.82"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/153","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and some of the others will simply leave","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=565.82,567.7"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/154","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"after they've done their duty.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=567.7,569.11"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/155","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And either way you will have accomplished","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=569.11,570.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/156","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"what you wanted to do.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=570.53,571.633"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/157","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So if while I'm singing","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=573.15,575.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/158","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"you could get in touch with your cupcakes.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=575.38,577.48"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/159","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"This is a song about being alone,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=578.43,580.61"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/160","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but to me it's not a sad song,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=580.61,582.913"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/161","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it's not a gloomy song.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=586.47,588.46"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/162","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"There's a lot of strength and joy in the music itself.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=588.46,591.04"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/163","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I think that's because it's not till we're really alone","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=591.04,594.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/164","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that we find out who we are,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=594.1,595.55"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/165","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and in fact, whether we do have some strength","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=595.55,597.48"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/166","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to deal with what's going on with us.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=597.48,599.33"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/167","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ Sometimes I feel ♪","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=614.427,619.427"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/168","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ Like a motherless child ♪","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=621.277,626.277"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/169","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ Sometimes I feel ♪","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=626.902,631.653"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/170","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ Like a motherless child ♪","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=631.653,636.653"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/171","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ Sometimes I feel ♪","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=637.003,642.003"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/172","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ Like a motherless child ♪","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=642.303,647.303"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/173","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ A long way ♪","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=647.703,650.178"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/174","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ From home ♪","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=650.178,655.178"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/175","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ A long long way ♪","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=656.479,661.479"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/176","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ From home ♪","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=661.481,665.905"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/177","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ True believer ♪","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=665.905,670.905"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/178","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"♪ A long long way 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academic,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=897.27,899.803"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/231","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and that's not the point.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=900.65,902.083"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/232","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And it seems important for people to 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transplant,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=947.09,948.57"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/249","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"the life expectancy was about a year.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=948.57,951.0"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/250","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And there's only 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salesman","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=975.67,977.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/259","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to remind me you know.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=977.38,978.623"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/260","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And also when I go back for 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did,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=994.68,997.75"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/265","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"there's only about three of us left now.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=997.75,999.75"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/266","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"One of the problems with the transplants","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1002.24,1004.29"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/267","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"is that you see my normal reaction","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1004.29,1008.82"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/268","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"is to reject the kidney that I've received","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1008.82,1012.07"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/269","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because it's not mine, I don't have any of my own.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1012.07,1014.57"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/270","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And in order to suppress that natural 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on.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1023.62,1026.39"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/273","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So the majority of transplants do not die of kidney failure,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1026.39,1030.0"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/274","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"they die of something like pneumonia,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1030.0,1033.12"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/275","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"meningitis, complications from the flu,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1033.12,1036.513"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/276","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"a couple of rare forms of leukemia, and things like that.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1037.985,1041.203"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/277","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"As recently as 1974,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1045.49,1048.27"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/278","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I was in the hospital more than I was 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years.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1053.21,1055.64"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/281","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So what I'm talking about tonight","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1055.64,1056.88"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/282","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"has to do not only with with dealing with death,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1056.88,1060.71"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/283","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but dealing with a long-term condition,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1060.71,1063.39"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/284","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and in some ways the latter is more difficult,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1063.39,1066.78"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/285","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because of the uncertainty of it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1066.78,1068.783"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/286","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I used to say when I first 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ago,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1081.7,1085.89"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/289","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that I did a lot of denying.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1085.89,1089.31"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/290","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"You know there's an awful lot I had to be concerned about.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1089.31,1092.59"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/291","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"What would happen to Phyllis if I died?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1092.59,1094.6"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/292","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"How were we gonna handle the finances?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1094.6,1096.49"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/293","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I was getting so disabled that Phyllis had to quit work","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1096.49,1099.155"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/294","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to help take care of me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1099.155,1101.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/295","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and I was in graduate school.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1101.19,1103.21"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/296","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Our combined income was something like $3,000,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1103.21,1106.437"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/297","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and that wasn't there anymore.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1106.437,1108.103"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/298","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So how were we gonna handle even basic 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drop,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1116.45,1117.94"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/301","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and whether I should sign up for courses next quarter.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1117.94,1120.64"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/302","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And some of those questions are rather 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death,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1131.49,1134.5"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/307","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that came later.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1134.5,1135.583"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/308","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And of course really, when I got to that 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Virginia,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1150.5,1154.45"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/313","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and my older brother Bill lives there now.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1154.45,1156.77"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/314","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Well we had a small workshop in the afternoon","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1156.77,1159.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/315","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and one of the ladies asked Bill,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1159.13,1160.867"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/316","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"How did you feel 13 years ago when your 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said,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1177.07,1178.817"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/323","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"Well, I thought we'd all always known that.\"","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1178.817,1181.607"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/324","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And you see, I guess everybody did, but Phyllis and I.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1181.607,1184.313"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/325","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"When we were engaged,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1185.81,1186.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/326","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"which was several years before this point,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1186.99,1189.74"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/327","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"my brother sent us a letter saying","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1189.74,1191.92"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/328","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that if something happened to me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1191.92,1194.05"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/329","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"they would take care of Phyllis.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1194.05,1195.65"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/330","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And it never dawned upon either one of us","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1196.61,1198.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/331","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that someone was saying,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1198.53,1199.72"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/332","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I wasn't supposed to live very long.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1199.72,1201.593"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/333","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"The message that we got was wasn't it wonderful","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1203.28,1205.73"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/334","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to have such a warm, loving family","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1205.73,1207.64"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/335","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that would do such a thing.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1207.64,1208.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/336","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And you see I don't care what you say 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things.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1221.67,1224.47"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/341","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"That protects us from confronting ourselves with feelings,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1224.47,1227.63"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/342","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and with events that will destroy us emotionally.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1227.63,1231.993"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/343","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And if we listen to ourselves at all,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1232.96,1235.32"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/344","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"we'll retain some of that protection.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1235.32,1237.31"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/345","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"That doesn't mean we don't confront ourselves","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1237.31,1239.01"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/346","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"with difficult things, but we won't destroy ourselves.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1239.01,1241.813"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/347","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I used to think that as a counselor,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1245.41,1247.22"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/348","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I had to have everybody face things head on.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1247.22,1249.993"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/349","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"To be realistic.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1251.17,1252.563"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/350","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And you see, I think I've really changed my feelings","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1253.54,1255.77"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/351","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"about that.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1255.77,1256.603"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/352","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Lots of times we get a lot less hurt","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1256.603,1257.98"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/353","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"if we sneak in from the side,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1257.98,1260.2"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/354","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"if we follow our own intuition and our own pacing.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1260.2,1263.293"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/355","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I don't believe that we become stronger,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1265.35,1268.24"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/356","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that it's good for our character","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1268.24,1269.48"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/357","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to bat our heads against a brick walls.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1269.48,1271.783"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/358","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's maybe better to know what your obstacles are,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1273.97,1275.897"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/359","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and to go around 'em.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1275.897,1277.317"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/360","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"There's another kind of denial,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1279.872,1281.02"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/361","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and it's rather important that you hear this,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1281.02,1285.67"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/362","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"if you're going to be helpful to your friends and relatives","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1285.67,1289.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/363","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"who are facing serious illnesses.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1289.38,1291.533"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/364","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Sometimes somebody may come up to me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1293.34,1296.16"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/365","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and they wanna talk to me about","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1296.16,1298.32"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/366","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"what it's like to have a long-term condition,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1298.32,1300.6"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/367","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and to know you're not gonna live very long.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1300.6,1302.823"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/368","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I just don't wanna do it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1304.15,1306.59"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/369","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Maybe I've had too many people in already,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1306.59,1309.023"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/370","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"every resident in the hospital's probably been there.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1310.59,1313.383"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/371","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I'm just plain tired.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1314.8,1316.54"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/372","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so when you ask me how I'm feeling,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1316.54,1318.89"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/373","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'll say, oh terrific, everything's fine.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1318.89,1321.133"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/374","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that's my way of saying,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1322.77,1324.92"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/375","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"you see I don't wanna talk about it now.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1324.92,1327.35"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/376","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Or it may be a little bit more specific,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1327.35,1329.42"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/377","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it may mean I don't wanna talk with you about it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1329.42,1331.87"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/378","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so often I find myself and other people denying,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1332.76,1337.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/379","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because they don't wanna talk with particular people.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1337.13,1340.097"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/380","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that may be because I don't know you very well","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1340.097,1342.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/381","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and I don't trust you, that I don't wanna talk,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1342.41,1345.54"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/382","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but I think even more likely,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1345.54,1347.24"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/383","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it may be because I care for you a lot.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1347.24,1349.623"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/384","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"That you're too close, that I love you too much.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1350.48,1353.243"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/385","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It was pretty easy for me to talk","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1356.26,1357.98"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/386","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to the cleaning lady in the hospital.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1357.98,1359.993"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/387","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It was difficult for me to talk to a doctor,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1361.86,1365.78"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/388","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to talk to a friend.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1365.78,1366.9"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/389","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And it was almost impossible for me to talk","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1366.9,1369.01"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/390","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to Phyllis in the beginning.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1369.01,1370.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/391","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"'Cause after all, if some of the other people","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1371.73,1373.59"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/392","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"don't react well, I'll get over it, it won't hurt so much.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1373.59,1376.43"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/393","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"If Phyllis doesn't react well, it really hurts.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1376.43,1378.883"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/394","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so often, the ones we love the most","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1379.98,1383.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/395","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"are the ones that are more difficult to talk to.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1383.1,1385.5"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/396","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I've experienced some anger.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1388.1,1390.063"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/397","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'm perfect now, you understand, I never get angry.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1391.96,1394.51"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/398","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"All of these feelings, I still have.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1397.43,1400.29"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/399","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"My feelings do not come in the order","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1400.29,1402.17"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/400","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'm presenting them either, or in such neat packages.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1402.17,1406.09"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/401","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I have all of these feelings all at the same time.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1406.09,1408.47"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/402","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's not at all contradictory to be partially accepting,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1408.47,1412.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/403","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and partially denying.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1412.13,1413.653"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/404","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so I certainly don't want you to put","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1416.29,1418.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/405","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"my feelings into little boxes.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1418.1,1419.973"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/406","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Let me just read you a short thing","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1421.31,1423.903"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/407","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"from the book that I wrote, about anger.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1423.903,1427.083"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/408","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"How dare you doctor tell me there's nothing you can do.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1427.927,1430.387"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/409","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"It's just a cop out.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1430.387,1432.327"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/410","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"How dare you wife make demands on me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1432.327,1435.007"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/411","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"make me worry about how you're going to manage things.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1435.007,1437.867"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/412","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"How dare you anyone be healthy when I'm so sick?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1437.867,1440.997"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/413","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"What right do you have?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1440.997,1443.007"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/414","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"You're not any better than I am.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1443.007,1445.347"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/415","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"How dare you God?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1445.347,1447.027"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/416","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"How dare you stick me with this painful, disabling disease?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1447.027,1450.347"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/417","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"How dare you kill me?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1450.347,1452.037"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/418","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"How dare you call yourself a just and loving God?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1452.037,1455.857"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/419","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"How dare you friends say that I shouldn't be angry.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1455.857,1458.857"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/420","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"What do you know about it?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1458.857,1460.297"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/421","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"You're not going through what I am.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1460.297,1462.597"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/422","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"You can't feel what I'm feeling.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1462.597,1464.627"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/423","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"You can't know what I know.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1464.627,1467.207"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/424","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"As I face death, I have questions,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1467.207,1468.444"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/425","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"and I challenge what I have believed, and I am angry.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1468.444,1469.563"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/426","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"I wonder why me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1469.563,1472.857"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/427","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"I feel the injustice of it all.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1472.857,1476.827"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/428","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"I feel unfaired against.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1476.827,1479.347"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/429","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"why shouldn't I be angry?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1479.347,1481.247"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/430","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"After all I'm not really that much worse than anybody else?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1481.247,1484.393"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/431","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"Do I really deserve all this.\"","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1485.247,1487.477"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/432","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"One of the things that makes me the most angry","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1491.64,1493.83"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/433","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"when I'm angry is that people don't take me seriously.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1493.83,1496.653"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/434","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"They say, well, you know, Henderson's had a bad year,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1498.88,1501.72"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/435","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"he's had a bunch of complications.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1501.72,1504.0"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/436","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"He's angry, we expect that.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1504.0,1505.69"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/437","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"We'll just humor him, and hope he gets over it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1505.69,1508.04"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/438","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'm sure you've all experienced that you know.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1509.13,1511.43"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/439","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"That's not a unique thing to my situation.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1512.931,1515.163"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/440","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I remember when I was a teenager","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1517.46,1518.63"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/441","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"people were always telling me I was going through a phase.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1518.63,1521.82"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/442","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It was very much the same thing.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1521.82,1523.703"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/443","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Sometimes my anger is not that evasive, generalized,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1526.16,1530.31"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/444","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"undirected kind of anger you hear so much about,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1530.31,1532.72"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/445","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that's maybe 5% of it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1532.72,1535.14"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/446","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Most of it's very specific, and very directed.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1535.14,1537.65"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/447","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And you can listen to it","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1537.65,1538.67"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/448","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"without any intelligence particularly,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1538.67,1540.74"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/449","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"or without even any great difficulty.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1540.74,1542.86"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/450","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And you can often even do something about it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1542.86,1546.22"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/451","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"At the very least you can listen,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1546.22,1547.9"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/452","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"so that I know that I'm not so weird to feel that way.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1547.9,1550.723"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/453","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Chances are if I'm in the hospital, the food is rotten.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1552.61,1555.503"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/454","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"You know, there probably is a grouchy nurse","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1556.92,1558.62"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/455","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"in the night shift.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1558.62,1560.0"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/456","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"If I worked the night shift, I certainly would be grouchy.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1560.0,1562.9"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/457","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"There's a lot of things that are just sort of generally","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1566.95,1570.81"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/458","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"difficult about being in the hospital.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1571.78,1573.913"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/459","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Many of my friends don't visit me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1574.81,1576.693"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/460","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"'cause they're feeling uncomfortable","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1577.66,1579.01"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/461","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and they don't know what to say.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1579.01,1580.77"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/462","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And others are visiting much too long,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1580.77,1583.32"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/463","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"maybe shouldn't come at all.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1583.32,1584.963"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/464","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And some of these things are things you can listen to","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1586.03,1588.03"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/465","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and do something about.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1588.03,1589.353"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/466","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I have some anger that rises out of my situation.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1591.1,1595.553"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/467","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"The uneasiness of not being able to give anymore,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1599.93,1603.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/468","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"when I'm very ill.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1603.38,1604.633"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/469","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"At least not in the ways that I'm used to,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1605.74,1607.51"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/470","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I have to figure out new ways of being productive","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1607.51,1612.51"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/471","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and helpful, the usual sense of that.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1612.59,1615.183"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/472","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"My decisions are made for me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1616.83,1618.893"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/473","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I don't have much independence,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1620.47,1621.94"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/474","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I have to be very dependent upon other people.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1621.94,1624.197"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/475","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that often makes me very tense and angry.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1624.197,1627.04"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/476","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And this kind of anger I may take out the most","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1627.04,1629.56"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/477","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"at the people who are trying to be the most helpful.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1629.56,1632.16"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/478","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I must admit I have a hard time dealing","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1635.86,1637.95"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/479","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"with that myself,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1637.95,1639.05"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/480","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"when one of my counselees gets angry at me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1639.05,1641.68"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/481","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I feel like saying, well for God's sakes","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1641.68,1643.28"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/482","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'm just trying to help, and you get angry.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1643.28,1646.58"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/483","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And yet, sometimes when Phyllis helps","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1646.58,1648.26"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/484","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"she makes me feel like a baby.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1648.26,1650.32"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/485","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And it doesn't matter how well she helps,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1650.32,1652.25"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/486","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it's just something inside of me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1652.25,1653.71"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/487","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it's something in the situation that makes me feel that way.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1653.71,1656.71"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/488","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"On the other hand, if she doesn't help,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1658.37,1660.0"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/489","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I figure she's cold and heartless,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1660.0,1661.52"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/490","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and either way she loses you see.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1661.52,1663.483"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/491","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so it's important for us to be able to talk","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1665.35,1668.61"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/492","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"some of those things out, and for me to understand it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1668.61,1671.98"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/493","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But understanding does not make anger go away,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1671.98,1675.01"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/494","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it just makes it a lot easier to work with,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1675.01,1677.04"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/495","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and it's a lot less painful and hurtful.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1677.04,1679.363"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/496","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Some people have the idea if they understand,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1681.88,1683.97"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/497","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and can analyze everything that's going on with them,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1683.97,1685.623"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/498","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"then their emotions disappear.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1685.623,1687.733"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/499","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think maybe we can put our emotions in better perspective,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1688.81,1691.44"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/500","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but emotions are not intellectually based.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1691.44,1694.841"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/501","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"We don't explain them away.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1694.841,1696.423"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/502","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I have some generalized kinds of anger.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1698.21,1701.27"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/503","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's the same anger I get every morning","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1701.27,1703.55"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/504","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"when I go on my diet,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1703.55,1705.013"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/505","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and I see a skinny little thing rocking","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1706.08,1707.79"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/506","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"around with a candy bar.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1707.79,1709.253"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/507","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And they never gain an ounce.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1710.94,1713.05"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/508","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I don't care what you say, it isn't fair.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1713.05,1715.833"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/509","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so sometimes I'm angry, and I wonder why me, or why now?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1718.07,1723.07"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/510","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"What makes me so bad that this should happen to me?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1725.71,1728.463"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/511","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And one of the things I found out about acceptance","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1731.31,1733.91"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/512","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"is that acceptance doesn't mean","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1733.91,1735.54"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/513","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that I get the answers to those questions.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1735.54,1737.663"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/514","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It means that I learn to live with those questions,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1739.86,1742.33"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/515","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and I put them into perspective, and I learn I can grow","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1742.33,1744.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/516","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"from the questions, whether I get the answers or not.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1744.53,1747.84"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/517","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"In fact if you know people","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1747.84,1749.97"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/518","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that know answers to those basic questions,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1749.97,1752.34"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/519","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"those are the ones I'm worried about.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1752.34,1755.02"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/520","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"'Cause it means that their emotions are so neatly","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1755.02,1757.33"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/521","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"into little boxes that they're really not feeling","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1757.33,1759.7"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/522","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"what's going on with their lives anymore.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1759.7,1761.75"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/523","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I have been depressed,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1768.62,1770.75"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/524","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and that's quite an admission for me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1770.75,1772.733"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/525","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I would never allow myself to be depressed.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1774.27,1776.82"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/526","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I was the one who always smiled, and always joke.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1776.82,1779.27"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/527","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I still do that a lot, that's part of me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1780.11,1783.45"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/528","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But it wasn't okay for me to be down, to be depressed.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1783.45,1787.95"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/529","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Now I knew there were a lot of bad things","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1787.95,1789.34"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/530","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"going wrong with me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1789.34,1790.23"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/531","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and so I got to a point where it's okay for me to be blue.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1790.23,1794.03"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/532","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I have no idea what the difference","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1794.03,1795.29"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/533","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"between blue and depressed is, but it was real important","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1795.29,1797.74"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/534","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"for me for a long time to be blue, and never depressed.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1797.74,1800.49"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/535","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Let me just read you a little bit","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1803.84,1805.31"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/536","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"about my feelings on depression.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1805.31,1806.963"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/537","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"As I begin to face","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1807.957,1808.947"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/538","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"more and more of the reality of my dying,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1808.947,1811.527"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/539","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"it's very depressing.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1811.527,1813.227"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/540","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"After all, if you love me and I die,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1813.227,1815.007"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/541","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"you face a loss of one person, I face the loss of everyone.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1815.007,1819.147"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/542","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"I'm not sure, but maybe I'll even lose myself.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1819.147,1822.327"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/543","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"I'm depressed, don't tell me I'm sick,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1822.327,1824.657"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/544","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"I'd be sick if I weren't depressed when facing death.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1824.657,1827.357"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/545","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"I have my own feelings about depression,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1828.423,1829.697"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/546","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"not only from facing death, but from looking","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1829.697,1831.517"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/547","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"at other important transitions, such as adolescents.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1831.517,1834.647"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/548","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"I think depression is an inward moving,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1834.647,1837.067"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/549","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"sometimes at an open conscious level,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1837.067,1838.987"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/550","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"sometimes at a more subtle preconscious level.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1838.987,1842.157"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/551","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"It is looking inside at what I really am,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1842.157,1845.027"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/552","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"looking for my strengths,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1845.027,1846.277"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/553","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"and for the real essence of my soul.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1846.277,1848.957"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/554","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"As I face death, I have questions such as who am I?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1848.957,1852.887"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/555","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"At any time in my life, this inward searching,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1852.887,1854.312"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/556","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"this groping with myself is very painful.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1854.312,1857.667"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/557","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"It means the stripping away of sham of hypocrisy.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1857.667,1861.277"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/558","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"It means destroying many comforting,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1861.277,1863.217"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/559","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"and safe defenses, and roles.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1863.217,1865.253"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/560","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"I'm not sure what I'm going to find underneath,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1868.117,1870.577"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/561","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"this is very scary.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1870.577,1872.517"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/562","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"As I face death, I search frantically for meaning,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1872.517,1875.037"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/563","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\"and for the strength to understand and overcome.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1875.037,1877.793"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/564","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"One of the real problems with depression","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1884.35,1886.73"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/565","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think is the attitude that this society has about it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1886.73,1889.73"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/566","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's sort of one of the alternate dirty 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depressed","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1895.59,1897.64"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/569","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I would quickly shuffle them on to another professional,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1897.64,1900.45"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/570","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"before they committed suicide on me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1900.45,1902.283"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/571","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I think maybe that's one of the real fears","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1905.46,1908.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/572","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"of depression, that I'll lose control, that I'll go crazy,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1908.41,1911.31"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/573","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"or that I am crazy in fact.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1912.5,1914.513"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/574","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so a lot of the labels, and the assumptions that we have","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1916.38,1919.21"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/575","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"about depression, have made depression very scary.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1919.21,1922.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/576","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I think it's our fear of depression","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1922.13,1923.77"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/577","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that makes it such an unconstructive period for many people,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1923.77,1926.36"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/578","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"not depression itself.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1926.36,1928.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/579","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Because in a way depression is sort of the transition","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1928.53,1932.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/580","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to some new understandings,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1932.99,1934.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/581","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and a new way of looking at life and at death.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1934.38,1936.68"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/582","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"(coughs)","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1937.686,1938.7"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/583","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"There ought to be an easier way,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1938.7,1940.03"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/584","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but I've noticed with myself,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1940.03,1942.12"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/585","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and with most of my clients","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1942.12,1943.59"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/586","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"when it comes to really making major life changes,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1943.59,1946.24"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/587","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and to looking at new ways of living,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1946.24,1948.203"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/588","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"maybe new enlightenments about the self,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1949.55,1951.61"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/589","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it almost always takes depression to get there.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1951.61,1954.483"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/590","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I haven't found any other routes","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1956.78,1958.61"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/591","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that work for most people.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1958.61,1960.143"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/592","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So it's important that I allow myself this depression,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1961.33,1965.64"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/593","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because it's then that I really begin","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1965.64,1968.39"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/594","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to confront what's going on with me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1968.39,1970.333"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/595","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so I put a lot of those decisions aside","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1982.75,1985.3"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/596","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because they simply don't have to be made.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1985.3,1987.423"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/597","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"There's also sort of a safety defense here.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1988.38,1990.96"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/598","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I don't make decisions","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1990.96,1992.11"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/599","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because I'm liable to make stupid ones.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1992.11,1994.763"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/600","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Depression is a kind of a naked, vulnerable time,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1995.85,1998.933"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/601","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and it's a time perhaps when we should shelve decisions","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=1998.933,2001.65"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/602","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"for a while and wait until later to make them.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2001.65,2003.95"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/603","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Let me say a few words about acceptance.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2007.22,2009.343"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/604","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"When I first realized that I was quite accepting of my death","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2012.25,2015.02"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/605","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I couldn't share it with other people.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2015.02,2017.42"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/606","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to say it right.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2017.42,2020.31"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/607","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And people would think that because I accepted death,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2020.31,2022.96"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/608","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I wanted to die,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2022.96,2024.87"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/609","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that it was a sort of a passive suicide.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2024.87,2027.013"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/610","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And you see that's not it at all.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2028.06,2030.76"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/611","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Acceptance of life and acceptance of death,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2030.76,2032.98"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/612","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"are the same thing.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2032.98,2034.193"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/613","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"If I can accept death,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2035.19,2036.322"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/614","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it lifts a great fear off of living,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2036.322,2039.35"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/615","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and it makes it much easier to live fully,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2039.35,2041.537"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/616","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and with a lot more joy.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2041.537,2043.173"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/617","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And if I can live very fully in the present,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2044.05,2046.91"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/618","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and accept myself as I am now,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2046.91,2049.77"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/619","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"then the future is not so fearful.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2049.77,2051.82"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/620","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I don't have to have all that future","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2051.82,2053.58"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/621","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"in order to develop, in order to be a good person.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2053.58,2056.453"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/622","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It was sort of interesting to me that as I faced death","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2060.82,2064.57"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/623","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it was very much a life orientation.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2064.57,2067.063"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/624","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"The questions I asked myself were not what death itself","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2068.13,2071.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/625","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"was like, or what after death was like,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2071.1,2074.96"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/626","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that came much later.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2074.96,2077.11"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/627","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"The initial question I think I asked myself","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2077.11,2079.55"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/628","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"was if I'm going to die, if I'm not going to live very long,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2080.53,2084.27"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/629","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"what's the sense of me living in the first place?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2084.27,2086.823"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/630","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so I really looked at myself, and my values,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2088.41,2091.12"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/631","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and what I stood for, and what I believed,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2091.12,2093.27"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/632","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and what was important.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2093.27,2095.14"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/633","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that had a lot to do with the 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about,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2103.49,2106.86"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/636","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"is there are too many people listening.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2106.86,2108.81"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/637","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Often at hospital, someone will say,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2109.85,2112.283"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/638","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I fought long enough, I've had enough,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2114.13,2117.03"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/639","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'm ready to die, and it's okay with me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2117.03,2119.02"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/640","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's gonna be okay.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2119.02,2121.06"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/641","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And the reaction so often is, oh, don't you talk that way,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2121.06,2123.78"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/642","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"you're getting the best possible care.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2123.78,2126.45"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/643","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so the most special gift that this 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integration","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2141.02,2145.15"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/648","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"of what's going on with me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2145.15,2146.28"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/649","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"You see my physical condition is part of who I am.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2146.28,2149.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/650","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's not all of who I am, but it is part of me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2149.41,2152.24"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/651","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and I need to accept it as part of me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2152.24,2154.35"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/652","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I have that choice,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2154.35,2155.33"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/653","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it can always be something outside that I'm always fighting,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2155.33,2158.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/654","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"sort of like the enemy.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2158.99,2160.77"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/655","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I haven't got enough energy for that fight, nobody 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happen.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2197.16,2198.95"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/666","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"First of all, it's put into a different perspective,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2198.95,2201.52"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/667","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it's only a part of me, it's not all of me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2201.52,2203.763"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/668","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"For a while I was sort of the walking kidney transplant,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2204.61,2207.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/669","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and not very much else.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2207.19,2208.683"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/670","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And as I accepted more and more what I was,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2209.93,2213.877"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/671","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and my condition as part of it,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2213.877,2215.96"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/672","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it slipped into better perspective.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2215.96,2218.603"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/673","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And also as I can accept what's going on with me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2219.52,2223.73"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/674","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it can become a strength.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2223.73,2225.283"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/675","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so I can do what I'm doing 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disabilities","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2232.34,2234.81"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/678","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because I've got some myself, not despite them.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2234.81,2237.843"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/679","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I make that choice you see.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2239.1,2240.61"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/680","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"They can either be a strength, or always be a handicap.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2240.61,2243.97"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/681","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"That does not mean however,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2243.97,2245.78"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/682","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I want you to tell me you think how much you've learned,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2245.78,2248.72"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/683","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that's easy for you to say, but it ain't worth it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2248.72,2251.42"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/684","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's too hard a way to do it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2251.42,2253.043"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/685","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I would just assume to have learned an easier way,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2254.2,2256.84"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/686","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but nevertheless I have learned.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2256.84,2258.883"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/687","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"In a strange way, if I can except the insecurity","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2261.68,2266.14"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/688","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"of my living, my life becomes very secure, and very stable.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2267.14,2270.723"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/689","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I was in the hospital last month, I might be in tomorrow.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2271.77,2275.033"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/690","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I could catch pneumonia next week,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2277.21,2279.58"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/691","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I don't know those things.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2279.58,2281.14"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/692","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Those are all very real possibilities.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2281.14,2283.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/693","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And because of that, I can't be waiting until next week,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2283.13,2287.45"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/694","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"or next month to do the things that are important to me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2287.45,2290.25"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/695","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so I have to be living very fully right now.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2290.25,2294.233"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/696","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so in a strange way, you see if I'm gonna live at all,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2295.16,2297.59"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/697","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"the insecurities forced me to live very fully,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2297.59,2301.08"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/698","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and very completely, and with a lot of joy right now.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2301.08,2304.753"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/699","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that's about the most secure","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2305.7,2307.29"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/700","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and stable kind of life that you can have.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2307.29,2309.423"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/701","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Another thing that I learned about was love.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2311.44,2313.913"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/702","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And as I searched into myself","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2315.32,2317.02"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/703","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to find out what was important,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2317.02,2319.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/704","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and perhaps what was special about me","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2319.38,2320.93"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/705","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think it's the unique properties","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2320.93,2323.27"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/706","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"of love as I can express,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2323.27,2324.667"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/707","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and as each one of us can express it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2324.667,2326.823"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/708","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Love is one of the few things that has no timed limits.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2329.21,2333.17"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/709","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I love fully to give in second.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2333.17,2335.053"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/710","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Now some of the people I do marriage counseling with","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2336.19,2338.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/711","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"seem to think that if I stick it out long enough","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2338.1,2339.96"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/712","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"they'll learn to love each other,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2339.96,2341.89"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/713","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and they almost always get bored first.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2341.89,2343.963"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/714","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's nice, if you can do it for a long time,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2345.23,2347.17"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/715","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but only if it's full each second of that long time.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2347.17,2350.463"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/716","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Love is also special because no matter how disabled I am,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2353.42,2356.6"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/717","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and no matter how sick I am,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2356.6,2357.69"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/718","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it's still something that I can offer.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2357.69,2359.17"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/719","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I don't even have to be able to talk.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2359.17,2361.02"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/720","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And love is also special","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2362.95,2364.21"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/721","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because at least as we know it, it can end.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2364.21,2366.393"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/722","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I can die, Phyllis can die,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2368.38,2369.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/723","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"or Phyllis can wake up and realize her mistake.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2369.99,2372.63"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/724","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And if all those things weren't possibilities you see,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2372.63,2375.11"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/725","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'd probably take love for granted.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2375.11,2376.893"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/726","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And one of the unique experiences I had with love,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2380.0,2382.56"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/727","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"is that my father gave me my kidney.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2382.56,2385.223"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/728","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And it's quite a long, painful operation for him.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2387.92,2391.513"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/729","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I would not have been able to receive the kidney,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2394.72,2396.9"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/730","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"if I didn't know it was as important for him to give,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2396.9,2399.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/731","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"as for me to receive.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2399.53,2400.903"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/732","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that's a special intimate love bond,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2401.81,2403.8"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/733","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that I wouldn't trade anything for,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2403.8,2405.43"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/734","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it was worth the entire experience.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2405.43,2407.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/735","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003e -:\u003c/strong\u003e You know, one of the most important things","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2417.42,2419.69"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/736","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"in helping someone who's dying","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2420.84,2422.21"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/737","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"is being willing to fumble, and to look foolish.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2422.21,2426.31"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/738","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So I would like y'all to look foolish,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2426.31,2428.15"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/739","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and stand up, and stretch.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2428.15,2430.24"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/740","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So you have a chance to move around a little bit,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2430.24,2432.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/741","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it's too long to sit.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2432.19,2433.393"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/742","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Can y'all hear me in the back?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2438.54,2440.773"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/743","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Yeah, okay.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2441.89,2443.143"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/744","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"In January of this year,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2445.02,2447.22"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/745","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Steve and I sold our house, and bought a used motor home,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2447.22,2451.2"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/746","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and we live in that now full time.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2451.2,2453.77"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/747","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"We travel around North America,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2453.77,2455.52"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/748","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"doing work in death and dying,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2455.52,2457.83"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/749","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and we're only home in Virginia, about five days a year.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2457.83,2462.513"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/750","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I was very glad to do this.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2463.87,2465.72"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/751","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I wanted to do it, and I was excited about it,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2465.72,2468.29"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/752","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but I still had some feelings of loss, when I left Virginia.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2468.29,2472.3"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/753","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Some of the people I cared about were there,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2472.3,2474.51"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/754","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and the spiritual community was there.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2474.51,2476.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/755","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I think that's where the 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lives,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2481.15,2483.6"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/758","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"we have a kind of a grief about what we've had to give up","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2483.6,2487.03"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/759","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"in order to have the good.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2487.03,2489.06"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/760","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And unless we're willing to grieve those changes,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2489.06,2492.15"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/761","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"we can't fully accept the new.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2492.15,2494.443"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/762","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So while we're talking about physical death tonight,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2495.32,2499.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/763","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because it's the only experience we have,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2499.41,2501.92"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/764","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think we're also talking about all the kind of deaths","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2503.7,2506.95"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/765","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that you all have gone through.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2506.95,2509.49"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/766","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"The death that you go through when there's a divorce","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2509.49,2511.78"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/767","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"in the family,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2511.78,2513.29"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/768","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and you have to grieve not being a whole family,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2513.29,2518.17"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/769","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"or not being maybe a two parent family.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2518.17,2520.81"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/770","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"You're still a whole family,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2520.81,2521.643"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/771","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"you're a different kind of a family after that,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2521.643,2524.08"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/772","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and you must grieve that before you can go on.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2524.08,2527.93"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/773","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"When a parent gives birth to a handicapped child,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2527.93,2531.09"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/774","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that's a real death,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2531.09,2532.85"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/775","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because first they have to grieve the healthy fantasy child","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2532.85,2536.71"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/776","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that was in their mind for nine months,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2536.71,2538.39"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/777","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and that was not born to them.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2538.39,2541.02"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/778","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And only then can they fully embrace","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2541.02,2543.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/779","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"the child that was born.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2543.99,2546.23"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/780","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So I hope these feelings we're talking about","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2546.23,2549.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/781","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"won't be strange to you,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2549.1,2550.93"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/782","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but only the outward circumstances will be different.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2550.93,2554.253"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/783","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"We call our work death and dying","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2556.32,2558.11"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/784","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because they're two different things.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2558.11,2560.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/785","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"A lot of people see death as just a moment in time,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2560.99,2564.277"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/786","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and a transition.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2564.277,2565.96"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/787","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I see it that way I think.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2565.96,2567.573"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/788","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But no matter what you think is going to happen after death,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2568.71,2571.8"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/789","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"or no matter how strong your faith, first comes dying,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2571.8,2575.86"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/790","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and dying can be very painful,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2575.86,2577.89"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/791","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and that's what we're talking about tonight.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2577.89,2580.203"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/792","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I was telling your group the other day","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2582.54,2584.12"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/793","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that some social scientists in Chicago","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2584.12,2587.03"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/794","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"did a man on the street interview.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2587.03,2588.97"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/795","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And they asked people at random,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2588.97,2590.59"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/796","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"how long do you think the grieving process lasts?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2590.59,2594.073"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/797","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And the people,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2594.97,2595.95"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/798","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"the average answer was two days, to two weeks.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2595.95,2600.003"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/799","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And those of you who have grieved,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2601.16,2603.05"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/800","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"know what a laughable thing that is,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2603.05,2606.4"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/801","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because grieving starts long before the death,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2606.4,2609.16"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/802","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and it goes on long after.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2609.16,2611.013"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/803","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"When one person in a family is dying,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2613.49,2615.96"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/804","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"everyone in that family faces their own deaths,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2615.96,2618.61"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/805","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and goes through all of the 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shot,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2650.45,2652.48"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/816","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"as if we weren't married for 15 years you know.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2652.48,2655.25"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/817","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I think part of my feeling 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was,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2662.23,2664.27"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/820","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and I married because I was very much in love,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2664.27,2666.56"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/821","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but I also wanted to get away from me, Phyllis,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2666.56,2669.25"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/822","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and I thought I could do that by becoming Mrs. Steve.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2669.25,2672.81"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/823","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"There wasn't any woman's lived then.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2672.81,2675.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/824","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think it wouldn't have lasted very long.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2675.13,2677.57"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/825","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But I took refuge in Steve,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2677.57,2680.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/826","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"in hiding I think, in Steve.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2680.1,2683.02"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/827","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I used to act one of two 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me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2715.67,2717.82"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/840","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"The good thing about that for me","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2717.82,2719.39"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/841","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"was that I began to find out what was needable about me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2719.39,2723.32"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/842","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and that I had strengths that were different","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2723.32,2725.31"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/843","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"from Steve strengths, and that we are two whole people.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2725.31,2729.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/844","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that if either one of us dies,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2729.13,2730.95"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/845","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"the other will go on, there will be grief,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2730.95,2733.94"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/846","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but we will go on because we're whole people.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2733.94,2736.62"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/847","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So I see that as a good 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Steve","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2759.23,2762.29"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/858","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"as a knight on a white horse who would save me from myself.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2762.29,2765.623"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/859","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I couldn't look at him as an invalid or a dying 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markets,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2807.83,2811.67"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/874","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and what was unimportant meant serving on some boards","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2811.67,2815.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/875","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that we didn't get anything out of,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2815.41,2816.86"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/876","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"or cleaning out the house.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2816.86,2818.86"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/877","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Doing things that we thought people thought we should do,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2818.86,2822.07"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/878","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but that we didn't get anything out of doing.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2822.07,2824.32"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/879","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"We've had many chances to reevaluate important","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2825.61,2828.15"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/880","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and unimportant because Steve gets sick again quite often.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2828.15,2831.66"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/881","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And we wish that didn't happen,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2831.66,2835.12"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/882","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but when it does happen,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2835.12,2836.15"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/883","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it at least gives us a chance to go back to zero","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2836.15,2839.05"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/884","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and start over fresh.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2839.05,2840.593"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/885","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I was very numb.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2844.21,2846.34"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/886","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I don't even know what my feelings","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2846.34,2848.04"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/887","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"were for those fist couple of years of Steve's illness.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2848.04,2852.96"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/888","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I went numb because I had to,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2852.96,2855.92"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/889","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it was too painful for me to feel all of the confusion,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2855.92,2859.86"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/890","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and hurtful feelings that I had.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2859.86,2862.31"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/891","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I think it's okay to go numb.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2862.31,2864.09"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/892","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think that's sort of like a neutral gear,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2864.09,2866.84"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/893","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"gets you down a hill,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2866.84,2868.88"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/894","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that's maybe too steep to walk down by yourself.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2868.88,2871.863"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/895","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think there's a fear of when that numbness will 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Aimes,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2887.35,2889.97"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/902","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and Steve's dad came out from Iowa,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2889.97,2893.44"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/903","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and he was very helpful to us,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2893.44,2895.87"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/904","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because Steve's family has the ability to love you","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2895.87,2899.05"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/905","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"without possessing you.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2899.05,2900.33"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/906","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I think that's really rare.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2900.33,2902.88"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/907","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"What that means is that Steve's dad said to me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2902.88,2906.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/908","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"how are things?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2906.99,2908.77"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/909","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I thought I had to be strong,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2908.77,2910.21"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/910","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and I said, everything's just fine.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2910.21,2913.01"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/911","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I thought I had to do it all alone,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2913.01,2915.01"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/912","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and he didn't push me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2915.01,2916.92"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/913","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"He didn't say you're denying,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2916.92,2918.32"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/914","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"he said, if you ever need to talk, I'll be here.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2918.32,2921.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/915","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So when I needed to talk I called him, and he was there.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2921.99,2926.61"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/916","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I think if you're going to help anybody,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2926.61,2928.83"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/917","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"a friend or a family member,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2928.83,2930.64"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/918","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"you have to be able to love them without owning them.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2930.64,2934.35"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/919","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that means if someone you love is 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inacceptance.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2944.66,2948.04"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/924","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's really hard to let someone deny, and not push them.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2948.04,2952.49"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/925","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But I think that's the only way they can move out of it,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2952.49,2955.06"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/926","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"is if you let them be where they are,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2955.06,2956.8"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/927","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and make that a safe place for them to be.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2956.8,2959.203"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/928","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Steve's family also taught me a lot","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2960.68,2962.57"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/929","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"about how important touch is.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2962.57,2965.27"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/930","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's more important than anything I can say,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2965.27,2968.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/931","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"maybe if I can hold your hand when you're dying.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2968.53,2972.003"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/932","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I grew up in New England,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2973.4,2974.66"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/933","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and I never saw my parents touch the whole time","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2974.66,2977.23"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/934","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"they were married, never saw them hold hands even.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2977.23,2980.01"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/935","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And Steve's family are huggers.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2980.01,2982.88"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/936","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I used to plan to meet them at the door,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2982.88,2986.22"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/937","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"with dishes in my hand, so we didn't have to hug.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2986.22,2990.05"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/938","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It sounds so funny now.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2990.05,2991.713"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/939","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"After they got over across the threshold","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2992.73,2994.83"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/940","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it was a good visit.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=2994.83,2996.63"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/941","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But now I'm a hugger because I 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go.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3003.98,3007.223"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/944","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Steve was in counseling psychology, when he got sick.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3009.0,3013.58"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/945","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"You would think maybe that would have helped","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3013.58,3015.14"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/946","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"us talk to each other,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3015.14,3016.08"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/947","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think it made it worse.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3016.08,3018.62"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/948","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Maybe when you're in psychology, you think you should know.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3018.62,3023.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/949","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's like when you're a nurse,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3023.38,3024.77"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/950","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and you find out you have cancer,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3024.77,3026.11"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/951","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"you're not a nurse, you're a person who has cancer,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3026.11,3028.95"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/952","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and it hurts.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3028.95,3030.58"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/953","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I would encourage you, don't help somebody","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3030.58,3033.66"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/954","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because they're a minister, or a counselor, or a nurse,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3033.66,3035.817"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/955","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and remember that when they hurt,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3035.817,3037.75"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/956","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"they're just a person who hurts.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3037.75,3040.5"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/957","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"We thought we had to be brave for each other,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3040.5,3042.82"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/958","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because nobody would say the word dying to us.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3042.82,3045.893"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/959","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"That's changing, but the counselors, the ministers,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3046.93,3050.16"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/960","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"the doctors, nobody would say it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3050.16,3051.85"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/961","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so there's something very scary","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3051.85,3054.27"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/962","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"about something nobody will say.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3054.27,3056.5"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/963","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think it's still true today.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3056.5,3058.76"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/964","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"People don't say to each other,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3058.76,3060.47"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/965","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'm sorry to hear you have cancer.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3060.47,3062.87"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/966","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"They don't wanna say that word.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3062.87,3065.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/967","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"They don't say, I'm sorry, your husband Jim died,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3065.13,3068.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/968","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"they say, I'm sorry about your recent difficulty.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3068.38,3071.163"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/969","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that makes it impossible to talk about.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3072.02,3074.563"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/970","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So we were brave, and quotes around the word brave,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3076.5,3080.17"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/971","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"'cause I don't think it's what brave is,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3080.17,3082.08"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/972","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"we were lonely and isolated in our experience,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3082.08,3084.5"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/973","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"until the time of the transplant.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3084.5,3086.51"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/974","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"When we realized it might not be next week that he died,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3086.51,3089.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/975","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it might be next year, or the year after that.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3089.53,3092.39"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/976","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And how could we stay separated","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3092.39,3094.07"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/977","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"when we were so close in every other way.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3094.07,3096.34"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/978","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And we began to be willing I think,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3096.34,3100.36"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/979","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to not know what we needed to say, and to try anyway.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3100.36,3104.06"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/980","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I think that's important when you're helping someone.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3104.06,3106.94"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/981","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"You won't know what to say,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3106.94,3109.42"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/982","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but you need to be willing to try anyway,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3109.42,3112.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/983","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"in all of your awkwardness, in all of my awkwardness.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3112.1,3115.37"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/984","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I need to go ahead and try.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3115.37,3117.263"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/985","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It was very hard to live in the present","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3119.97,3122.68"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/986","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"for a number of years.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3122.68,3125.02"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/987","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It seemed that if Steve were singing","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3125.02,3128.76"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/988","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"as he's sung tonight,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3128.76,3130.84"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/989","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"then the more beautiful the song,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3130.84,3132.49"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/990","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"the more unhappy I would be.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3133.801,3135.63"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/991","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Because part of me would be saying, I must remember 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ccs.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3281.58,3284.7"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1041","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"(laughing)","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3284.7,3286.383"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1042","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that kind of vulnerability, I believe speeds 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nurse,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3498.07,3501.18"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1115","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'm sorry if it upsets you if I cry,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3501.18,3504.89"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1116","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"maybe you'd better go somewhere else.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3504.89,3508.16"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1117","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And what I don't ask but what I hope","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3508.16,3510.31"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1118","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"is maybe you'll be strong enough,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3510.31,3512.44"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1119","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and professional enough to cry with me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3512.44,3514.883"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1120","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And maybe when I leave,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3515.86,3517.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1121","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"you'll find someone who can hear your tears,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3517.41,3521.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1122","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because you can't be a nurse if you can't find someone","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3521.1,3524.52"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1123","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"who can hear all of the feelings that you have to bear","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3524.52,3527.62"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1124","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"when people die.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3527.62,3528.763"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1125","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I couldn't get angry at Steve.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3530.82,3532.863"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1126","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"How can you be angry at someone you love, who is dying?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3533.89,3537.893"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1127","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"What if I got furious at him","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3539.02,3540.47"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1128","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and left the house and came back and he had died?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3540.47,3542.48"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1129","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"How would I live with that?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3542.48,3543.83"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1130","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so I began to treat him not only as a physical invalid,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3544.91,3549.14"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1131","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but as an emotional invalid.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3549.14,3550.763"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1132","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I began to think he can't take all of me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3551.73,3554.48"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1133","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"or all of our relationship.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3554.48,3557.61"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1134","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And it was like those football games","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3557.61,3560.04"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1135","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"where they have a ten second, or those radio programs,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3560.04,3562.93"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1136","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"so there'd be sure nobody says anything I've seen.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3562.93,3565.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1137","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I would have a feeling,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3565.99,3567.03"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1138","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and then I would have to examine the feeling,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3567.03,3568.72"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1139","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and say, is this an okay feeling to share?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3568.72,3571.58"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1140","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Or is it anger, or depression, or fear,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3571.58,3573.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1141","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and I can't share those?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3573.41,3574.73"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1142","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so the spontaneity","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3574.73,3577.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1143","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"was beginning to be lost in our relationship.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3577.13,3580.32"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1144","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Now when we're angry, we try to be honest","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3580.32,3583.28"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1145","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"about where that anger is coming from, and say that.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3583.28,3586.59"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1146","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And if we don't know, we just try to say","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3586.59,3588.47"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1147","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I don't know why I'm so upset,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3588.47,3591.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1148","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but you need to know about my upsetness,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3591.19,3593.613"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1149","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"'cause I can't pretend to be who I'm not.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3594.82,3597.383"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1150","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"There were days, about four years ago,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3599.26,3601.69"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1151","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"when Steve was so disabled,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3601.69,3604.0"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1152","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"when he would moan with pain.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3604.0,3606.013"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1153","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I felt so powerless to help.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3606.87,3610.053"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1154","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I couldn't do anything,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3611.18,3612.58"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1155","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and yet I was forced to watch him hurt.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3612.58,3615.423"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1156","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And out of that came a rage.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3616.4,3618.79"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1157","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I would want to hit him with a brick","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3618.79,3620.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1158","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to get him to stop moaning.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3620.38,3622.52"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1159","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And it seemed so wrong, I thought what's wrong with me?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3622.52,3625.73"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1160","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"How can I get angry when the person I love is so in pain?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3625.73,3628.91"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1161","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But then I realized, it's this powerlessness,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3628.91,3631.27"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1162","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"you want to do something.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3631.27,3632.6"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1163","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I think I began for the first time","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3632.6,3634.49"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1164","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to understand parents who hit a baby,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3634.49,3638.16"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1165","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because the baby won't stop screaming.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3638.16,3640.74"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1166","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It doesn't come out of hate, it comes out of love,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3640.74,3643.39"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1167","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and powerlessness, and our feelings of inadequacy,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3643.39,3646.67"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1168","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and that we are to blame for the pain,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3646.67,3648.9"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1169","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"even though we know up here we're not.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3648.9,3651.58"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1170","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Our emotions take on some of that responsibility I think.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3651.58,3655.463"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1171","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"In Canada, we were in Canada last month,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3657.14,3659.7"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1172","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and a woman told me she was raised with this slogan.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3659.7,3662.55"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1173","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Her mother used to say it to her,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3662.55,3664.31"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1174","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"a girl worthwhile is a girl who can smile.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3664.31,3668.07"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1175","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Isn't that horrible?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3668.07,3669.419"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1176","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"(chuckles)","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3669.419,3670.28"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1177","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And she said, even today she has trouble getting angry,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3670.28,3673.12"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1178","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because you see when she gets angry,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3673.12,3674.89"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1179","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"she isn't a worthwhile person.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3674.89,3676.633"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1180","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And when people say to me, think positive,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3678.044,3680.49"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1181","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I get that same message.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3680.49,3682.263"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1182","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And we're bonded to anything we love.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3683.56,3686.27"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1183","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"When we marry, we certainly marry with ambivalent feelings,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3686.27,3690.06"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1184","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and in the love relationship, there's all kinds of feelings.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3690.06,3693.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1185","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so when somebody dies,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3693.38,3695.07"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1186","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and you say to them, think positive,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3695.07,3697.61"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1187","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"you allow them only to release the positive feelings.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3697.61,3701.15"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1188","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And all those other feelings like anger get locked away,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3701.15,3703.83"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1189","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and becomes a chronic backache, or migraine headaches.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3703.83,3707.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1190","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So the way I handle that when people say that to me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3707.41,3709.6"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1191","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"is I translate it to mean, feel fully.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3709.6,3712.73"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1192","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So that when I am angry, I am positively furious.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3712.73,3715.853"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1193","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"All of me is angry, and it passes from me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3717.44,3720.78"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1194","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and then there's room for a new feeling.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3720.78,3722.98"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1195","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"That means then when I can hear Steve sing,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3722.98,3725.275"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1196","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I can be positively delighted,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3725.275,3727.93"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1197","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I can be totally happy,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3727.93,3729.33"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1198","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and there aren't sad little pieces of me","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3729.33,3731.21"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1199","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that I've been carrying around.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3731.21,3733.32"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1200","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I think there is no such thing","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3733.32,3735.13"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1201","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"as good feelings and bad feelings.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3735.13,3737.23"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1202","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"There's just feelings.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3737.23,3739.023"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1203","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'm just gonna talk for a couple more minutes,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3742.61,3744.5"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1204","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and then we wanna have time for questions.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3744.5,3747.8"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1205","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It was very hard, it's still is very hard for me","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3747.8,3750.93"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1206","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to learn to accept help.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3750.93,3752.693"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1207","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think that caregivers are notoriously bad receivers.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3754.13,3758.71"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1208","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Nurses make the worst patients.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3758.71,3761.74"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1209","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Because those of us who go into caring professions","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3761.74,3765.71"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1210","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"do it because we want to be the ones who give,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3765.71,3767.89"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1211","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and we do it out of love,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3767.89,3769.25"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1212","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I don't think we do it out of manipulation.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3769.25,3771.983"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1213","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But then when we are on the receiving end,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3773.36,3776.46"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1214","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"when people would even give me presents,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3776.46,3778.17"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1215","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I would always have to give them back something,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3778.17,3780.56"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1216","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to be sure, you know, that I wasn't,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3780.56,3784.14"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1217","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I don't know what.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3784.14,3785.483"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1218","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I could never have traveled around the country as we do now,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3786.52,3790.49"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1219","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"four years ago even.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3790.49,3792.14"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1220","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Because we're a nonprofit service,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3792.14,3794.33"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1221","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"so it means often we live in somebody's driveway,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3794.33,3796.89"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1222","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and all our meals in their house,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3796.89,3798.7"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1223","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and there's no possible way for us to pay it back.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3798.7,3801.71"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1224","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that would have been a living hell for me before.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3801.71,3804.78"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1225","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But one of the things I've learned","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3804.78,3806.6"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1226","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"about receiving is that my being able to receive the gifts","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3807.8,3812.51"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1227","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"you have to give me, is a gift I give you.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3812.51,3815.173"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1228","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"If I can receive it graciously and say, thank you.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3816.25,3818.873"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1229","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It's like when someone pays you a compliment","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3820.02,3821.88"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1230","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and says, what a beautiful dress, and you say, this thing,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3821.88,3825.24"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1231","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and you make them feel bad for having offered the gift","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3825.24,3828.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1232","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"of a compliment, because they can't accept it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3828.41,3831.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1233","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Do you know what I mean by that?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3831.19,3832.893"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1234","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So if you're a caregiver, one of the gifts you have to give,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3834.47,3838.74"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1235","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to the people you're helping, is to receive from them.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3838.74,3842.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1236","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"To ask yourself, what is this person who is dying,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3842.53,3845.75"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1237","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"what is it that they can give me?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3845.75,3848.12"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1238","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And that I can let them know I receive.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3848.12,3850.43"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1239","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Maybe you can say to them, teach me how to help you,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3850.43,3853.75"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1240","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because you know better than anybody,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3853.75,3855.64"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1241","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"how I can help you, this individual.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3855.64,3858.08"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1242","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And then they can give you the gift of teaching you,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3858.08,3860.29"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1243","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and they will teach you.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3860.29,3861.533"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1244","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Or tell me what your life is like,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3862.71,3865.03"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1245","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and let them give you that gift,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3865.03,3866.9"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1246","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and restore some of their dignity","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3866.9,3868.92"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1247","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"as the person being helped.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3868.92,3870.513"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1248","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"People used to call me and say, can I do anything?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3871.84,3874.24"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1249","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And I used to say, oh no thank you, I don't need a thing,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3874.24,3877.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1250","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I'm strong, I'm self-sufficient.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3877.19,3879.26"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1251","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And they stopped calling.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3879.26,3881.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1252","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Because how can you care for someone","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3881.1,3882.82"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1253","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"to whom you can give nothing?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3882.82,3884.363"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1254","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And then I learned to grit my teeth,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3885.41,3887.02"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1255","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and sometimes even ask someone to mow my lawn,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3887.02,3890.55"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1256","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because if they said no,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3890.55,3891.69"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1257","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"they were just turning down my lawn.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3891.69,3894.21"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1258","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But I would challenge you that every person in crisis,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3894.21,3898.91"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1259","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"what they really want, isn't their lawn mowed.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3898.91,3902.21"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1260","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"What I really wanted is when someone called me and said,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3902.21,3904.55"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1261","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"do you need anything?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3904.55,3905.52"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1262","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I really wanted to say yes, and I don't know what it is,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3905.52,3909.61"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1263","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but I think it's just your presence in a way.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3909.61,3912.953"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1264","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But if we can be there, that's what's really important.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3915.98,3919.893"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1265","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"There was a young man on the kidney transplant unit","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3922.75,3925.86"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1266","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"where Steve had his transplant,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3925.86,3927.16"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1267","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"who was about eight years old.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3927.16,3928.943"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1268","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And his father gave him a kidney,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3929.79,3931.41"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1269","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and then deserted the family,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3931.41,3932.76"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1270","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and they never saw his father again.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3932.76,3935.35"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1271","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And Elwood had to conclude,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3935.35,3937.91"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1272","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that his father did not want to give that kidney.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3937.91,3940.86"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1273","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And so Elwood stopped taking his pills","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3940.86,3942.97"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1274","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and he rejected the kidney.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3942.97,3945.16"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1275","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Because how can you receive something","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3945.16,3947.43"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1276","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"from someone who doesn't care for you?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3947.43,3949.683"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1277","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"If you don't let the people you're helping","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3950.8,3952.74"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1278","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"know you care for them,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3952.74,3954.23"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1279","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"they cannot receive what you have to give.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3954.23,3956.763"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1280","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I would just say two other things to you as caregivers","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3959.64,3962.98"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1281","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"if you're helping a friend.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3962.98,3964.483"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1282","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Be honest with yourself.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3965.36,3968.16"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1283","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"You may be too close to that person.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3968.16,3970.0"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1284","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"It may hurt you too much to help.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3970.0,3972.19"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1285","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I couldn't be a caregiver when my father died,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3972.19,3975.1"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1286","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I did all the wrong things because I was his daughter.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3975.1,3977.993"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1287","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I did expect myself to be a caregiver,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3980.28,3982.21"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1288","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"now I think I could be more gentle with myself,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3982.21,3984.62"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1289","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and be honest and say, I can't be the one to help you,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3984.62,3988.33"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1290","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"but I'll get you someone who can, I won't abandon you.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3988.33,3991.343"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1291","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And be honest with the person you're helping.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3992.47,3995.72"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1292","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"You won't kill them with your honesty.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3995.72,3997.64"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1293","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"You may kill them if you're dishonest,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3997.64,3999.58"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1294","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because they'll never know what they can ask of you,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=3999.58,4002.43"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1295","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"if you won't tell them the truth when you can't give.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4002.43,4005.08"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1296","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And the other thing is to ask yourself","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4006.943,4008.6"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1297","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"what you get out of helping me,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4008.6,4011.25"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1298","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"if I'm a family member.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4011.25,4013.38"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1299","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And if you can't find something","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4013.38,4015.05"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1300","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"that you're getting out of it, don't help me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4015.05,4017.53"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1301","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"You won't be able to anyway,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4017.53,4018.81"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1302","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"'cause I'll know you aren't getting anything.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4018.81,4021.3"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1303","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I have nothing to give you.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4021.3,4023.16"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1304","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"If I can't satisfy some of your needs,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4023.16,4025.78"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1305","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"then you can't give to me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4025.78,4027.363"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1306","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I think in the beginning of our experiences,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4029.11,4031.61"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1307","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I often had the question,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4031.61,4033.22"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1308","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"why are these things happening to me?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4033.22,4035.373"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1309","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"But lately the question has been changing,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4036.53,4039.253"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1310","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and it has changed to, what am I going to become,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4040.09,4045.09"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1311","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because these things are happening?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4045.47,4047.573"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1312","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"If I'm not changing and becoming,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4048.76,4051.99"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1313","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"because of what happens in my life,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4051.99,4053.95"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1314","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"then my life is just a wasted experience,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4053.95,4056.39"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1315","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"it's worth nothing.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4056.39,4057.543"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1316","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"So I think if you can learn from the deaths in your lives,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4060.56,4064.44"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1317","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and become from them,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4064.44,4066.95"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1318","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"then they can be gifts, and not punishments.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4066.95,4070.603"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1319","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I wanna stop.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4071.7,4072.89"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1320","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"And Steve, why don't you come up,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4072.89,4074.54"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1321","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"and we'll just have questions.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4074.54,4075.78"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1322","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"If anyone has a tape recorder,","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4075.78,4077.23"},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1323","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"would you please shut it off now.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=4077.23,4079.173"}]},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927","type":"AnnotationPage","label":{"en":["English [Transcript]"]},"items":[{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28927/annotation/1324","type":"Annotation","motivation":"subtitling","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/file_transcripts/associated_files/000/028/927/original/AV168024_Death_and_Dying_a.vtt?1622849913","format":"text/vtt","language":"en"},"target":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/file_transcripts/associated_files/000/028/927/original/AV168024_Death_and_Dying_a.vtt?1622849913"}]},{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28928","type":"AnnotationPage","label":{"en":["AV168024_Death_and_Dying_a.txt [Transcript]"]},"items":[{"id":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754/transcript/28928/annotation/1325","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"- I guess it, I guess this is working.\r\n\r\n- Yes.\r\n\r\n- Okay, fine, thanks. I wanna welcome you this evening to a presentation by Steve and Phyllis Henderson, on the topic of facing life through death. I really don't wanna give the traditional kind of introduction, partly because Steve and Phyllis are gonna tell you a good bit about themselves in the course of their presentation tonight. I think what I would personally like to say is that my association with them goes back a good many years. I think it was back, I think we were figuring the other day, it was back in 1964, that Steve showed up in a counseling class that I taught in psychology, and still almost went behind the years, from having spent some time in the program in education. We got along well, he decided he would like to be a psychologist. He transferred over to the graduate program in counseling psychology, and was making very good progress until in 1965, he began to suffer the effects of his kidney failure, and finally left school for a kidney transplant operation in early 1966 I believe, is that right? And I frankly did not expect to see Steve alive again. This back in those days, kidney transplants were new, not much was known about them, there'd been very few done, other than with identical twins. And I had tremendous admiration for Steve's courage, and the spirits he was in when he left to undergo this operation. But as I say, I was not very optimistic, but he survived and has done very well. Even to the point where he came back, finished his degree, wrote his thesis, got his master's degree in counseling psychology from Iowa State, in 1970. And at the rate that some of our graduate students progress, a six year graduate program isn't all that bad. And it's remarkable when you consider what he was doing in the interim. Since then, and even before then, Steve and Phyllis have been involved in counseling and teaching. And in the last few years particularly, they have been emphasizing work in the area of counseling with people with terminal illness, and helping people who work with people who are dying, or who have close friends and relatives that have died, or are in a terminal illness stage. Before they, Steve and Phyllis actually come up here, I also wanna mention that they have brought along to share with you a number of things that they have written, and also that other people have written in the field, that they feel have been very important to them, very useful to them. These are on a table back in the lobby, outside the back of the auditorium. During a break or afterwards, if you'd like to stop and look at those, be very happy to have you do so. As I say, I really don't wanna spend time going into a long list of their qualifications, and activities, and things like that, because that will become very evident as they make their presentation, which is very personal as well, as a professional kind of presentation. So with that, I would like to introduce to you, Steve and Phyllis Henderson.\r\n\r\n- Well, it's nice to be back at Iowa State, but I'm glad I'm not taking classes anymore frankly. Since Ed has told you about us, I should say something about Ed. I remember that after several years of not sending Christmas letters or anything, we wrote you a little while back, and Ed wrote back saying thank goodness he'd heard from us, 'cause he just he assumed that I'd probably died in the interim. Today we're gonna share personally from our own experiences, from two points of view, it's kind of a two-part presentation. First of all, I'm gonna talk about some of the feelings that I had in facing death, and then also learning to live with a long-term condition. And then Phyllis is gonna speak on the same topic, from the viewpoint of the family member. I'd like to start out by sharing an image with you. If you can imagine laying in bed, either at home, or in the hospital, and you're full of pain medication, and not feeling too well. And you look over towards the door, and there's there's this six foot cupcake comes In the room And you know there's somebody behind the cupcake 'cause it moves. And a cupcake comes up by your bed, and it stops. And sure enough somebody peeks out and they say, hi, Steve. And you talk about the cupcake, isn't the icing nice, and it's got my name on the ribbon, and it was such a thoughtful gift. You know, I think we all come to other people with our cupcakes, the things that shield us, that get in our way of really touching and relating. And often it is things like cupcakes. People are always asking me, what is it that I bring? What should I take when I go visit someone? I happen to like cupcakes, and I just assume you bring 'em, but I don't want you to hide behind 'em. So I'm gonna start out tonight by singing. I do this for a number of reasons. One is that death you see is not an academic, or an intellectual issue, it's an emotional one. And most people don't intellectualize a song. So maybe it helps us get in the right frame of mind. And while I'm singing, I'd like you to get in touch with what your cupcakes are, and put 'em aside at least for tonight. And maybe you don't even need to take 'em with you when you leave. Let me give you some other examples of cupcakes. I think the one I use a lot is my professional role. When I wanna keep my distance, and I'm too tired to really relate, I become a counselor. My voice changes. I say very wise things that nobody wants to hear. I've noticed that ministers tend to use prayers as cupcakes. And unless the minister knows me, the longer the prayer is. And some of 'em come in my room and pray at me, without even finding out what my name is. I think all of us use our titles and our roles and so on. And you know even being a student can be a title, and you can use the student to keep you separated from the people who use the professor to keep them separated from you. It can go both ways however. Nurses tend to use stethoscopes, thermometers, clipboards as cupcakes. And some people even use helping, as a way of really not relating. They come in and say, may I help? And it's a demand. So some of you that are in the hospital very often what I would suggest is that you put a flower pot on the window seal, and have the first person move it to the dresser. The next person can move it back. And then some of the people after doing something helpful, will be able to relax enough to be really with you, and some of the others will simply leave after they've done their duty. And either way you will have accomplished what you wanted to do. So if while I'm singing you could get in touch with your cupcakes. This is a song about being alone, but to me it's not a sad song, it's not a gloomy song. There's a lot of strength and joy in the music itself. And I think that's because it's not till we're really alone that we find out who we are, and in fact, whether we do have some strength to deal with what's going on with us. ♪ Sometimes I feel ♪ ♪ Like a motherless child ♪ ♪ Sometimes I feel ♪ ♪ Like a motherless child ♪ ♪ Sometimes I feel ♪ ♪ Like a motherless child ♪ ♪ A long way ♪ ♪ From home ♪ ♪ A long long way ♪ ♪ From home ♪ ♪ True believer ♪ ♪ A long long way ♪ ♪ From home ♪ ♪ Sometimes I feel ♪ ♪ Like I'm almost gone ♪ ♪ Sometimes I feel ♪ ♪ Like I'm almost gone ♪ ♪ Sometimes I feel ♪ ♪ Like I'm almost gone ♪ ♪ Way up in that heavenly line Lord ♪ ♪ Way up in that heavenly line ♪ ♪ True believer ♪ ♪ Way up in that heavenly line ♪ ♪ Didn't my Lord ♪ ♪ Didn't my Lord ♪ ♪ Didn't my lord ♪ ♪ Didn't my lord ♪ ♪ Deliver Daniel ♪ ♪ Deliver Daniel ♪ ♪ Deliver Daniel ♪ ♪ Didn't my Lord ♪ ♪ Deliver Daniel ♪ ♪ So why not every man ♪ ♪ He delivered Daniel from the lion's den ♪ ♪ Jonah from the belly of the whale ♪ ♪ The Hebrew children from the fiery furnace ♪ ♪ So why not every man ♪ ♪ Didn't my Lord ♪ ♪ Deliver Daniel ♪ ♪ Deliver Daniel ♪ ♪ Deliver Daniel ♪ ♪ Didn't my Lord ♪ ♪ Deliver Daniel ♪ ♪ So why not every man ♪ ♪ Oh Lord ♪ ♪ Sometimes I feel ♪ ♪ Like a motherless child ♪ ♪ Sometimes I feel ♪ ♪ Like a motherless child ♪ ♪ Sometimes I feel ♪ ♪ Like a motherless child ♪ ♪ A long way ♪ ♪ From home ♪ ♪ A long long way ♪ ♪ From home ♪ ♪ True believer ♪ ♪ True believer ♪ ♪ A long long way ♪ ♪ From home ♪ First of all I wanna just tell you a little bit about our background, our story, so to speak. We used to not do this. And we found that our talks about death and dying, became rather abstract and academic, and that's not the point. And it seems important for people to know where we're coming from. Well, 13 and a half years ago, when I was here at Iowa State, found out I had complete kidney failure, at that time Phyllis and I had been married for about two and a half years. So this is something we've very much gone through together. At that time transplants and dialysis were for all practical purposes, not known about. They simply were not available to the general public. And so it was assumed that I had a terminal condition. In fact, I probably would have only lived eight or nine months. 12 and a half years ago, I had one of the very early experimental kidney transplants. At the time of the transplant, the life expectancy was about a year. And there's only 50% making it through the initial operating stages. Life expectancy for transplants today is still very short, it's somewhat improved. I'm one of the longest living transplants in the world. There are a few longer than me, but not very many. And if I forget the fact that I'm not supposed to live very long, there's always a life insurance salesman to remind me you know. And also when I go back for checkups, there's usually one of the people that had a transplant when I did, who was there dying at the time. Out of the 30 or 40 that had transplants in the same time period that I did, there's only about three of us left now. One of the problems with the transplants is that you see my normal reaction is to reject the kidney that I've received because it's not mine, I don't have any of my own. And in order to suppress that natural reaction I take drugs, but it also means that I don't reject germs, and viruses and funguses and so on. So the majority of transplants do not die of kidney failure, they die of something like pneumonia, meningitis, complications from the flu, a couple of rare forms of leukemia, and things like that. As recently as 1974, I was in the hospital more than I was out. I've had about 25 operations in the last 12 and a half years. So what I'm talking about tonight has to do not only with with dealing with death, but dealing with a long-term condition, and in some ways the latter is more difficult, because of the uncertainty of it. I used to say when I first realized how serious my condition was, which was here in Aimes about 13 years ago, that I did a lot of denying. You know there's an awful lot I had to be concerned about. What would happen to Phyllis if I died? How were we gonna handle the finances? I was getting so disabled that Phyllis had to quit work to help take care of me, and I was in graduate school. Our combined income was something like $3,000, and that wasn't there anymore. So how were we gonna handle even basic living? I had to make decisions like what courses to keep going in, and which ones to drop, and whether I should sign up for courses next quarter. And some of those questions are rather mundane when you look at the whole picture, but they do take up a lot of energy. And I just simply didn't have enough energy left over to be concerned with the big issues of life and death, that came later. And of course really, when I got to that point, I'm describing I was pretty much over denial, because I was realizing what was going on. I didn't realize how complete that was, until I was doing a workshop recently in Richmond, Virginia, and my older brother Bill lives there now. Well we had a small workshop in the afternoon and one of the ladies asked Bill, \"How did you feel 13 years ago when your brother found out he was so seriously ill?\" And bill said, \"Well I didn't know what all the excitement was about.\" Just sort of a strange thing for a brother to say in a situation like that. And he went on to explain, he said, \"Well, I thought we'd all always known that.\" And you see, I guess everybody did, but Phyllis and I. When we were engaged, which was several years before this point, my brother sent us a letter saying that if something happened to me, they would take care of Phyllis. And it never dawned upon either one of us that someone was saying, I wasn't supposed to live very long. The message that we got was wasn't it wonderful to have such a warm, loving family that would do such a thing. And you see I don't care what you say about facing things realistically, we got the right message. For me denial is a sort of a pacing. There's something intuitive in each one of us that tells us how fast to take things. That protects us from confronting ourselves with feelings, and with events that will destroy us emotionally. And if we listen to ourselves at all, we'll retain some of that protection. That doesn't mean we don't confront ourselves with difficult things, but we won't destroy ourselves. I used to think that as a counselor, I had to have everybody face things head on. To be realistic. And you see, I think I've really changed my feelings about that. Lots of times we get a lot less hurt if we sneak in from the side, if we follow our own intuition and our own pacing. I don't believe that we become stronger, that it's good for our character to bat our heads against a brick walls. It's maybe better to know what your obstacles are, and to go around 'em. There's another kind of denial, and it's rather important that you hear this, if you're going to be helpful to your friends and relatives who are facing serious illnesses. Sometimes somebody may come up to me, and they wanna talk to me about what it's like to have a long-term condition, and to know you're not gonna live very long. And I just don't wanna do it. Maybe I've had too many people in already, every resident in the hospital's probably been there. And I'm just plain tired. And so when you ask me how I'm feeling, I'll say, oh terrific, everything's fine. And that's my way of saying, you see I don't wanna talk about it now. Or it may be a little bit more specific, it may mean I don't wanna talk with you about it. And so often I find myself and other people denying, because they don't wanna talk with particular people. And that may be because I don't know you very well and I don't trust you, that I don't wanna talk, but I think even more likely, it may be because I care for you a lot. That you're too close, that I love you too much. It was pretty easy for me to talk to the cleaning lady in the hospital. It was difficult for me to talk to a doctor, to talk to a friend. And it was almost impossible for me to talk to Phyllis in the beginning. 'Cause after all, if some of the other people don't react well, I'll get over it, it won't hurt so much. If Phyllis doesn't react well, it really hurts. And so often, the ones we love the most are the ones that are more difficult to talk to. I've experienced some anger. I'm perfect now, you understand, I never get angry. All of these feelings, I still have. My feelings do not come in the order I'm presenting them either, or in such neat packages. I have all of these feelings all at the same time. It's not at all contradictory to be partially accepting, and partially denying. And so I certainly don't want you to put my feelings into little boxes. Let me just read you a short thing from the book that I wrote, about anger. \"How dare you doctor tell me there's nothing you can do. \"It's just a cop out. \"How dare you wife make demands on me, \"make me worry about how you're going to manage things. \"How dare you anyone be healthy when I'm so sick? \"What right do you have? \"You're not any better than I am. \"How dare you God? \"How dare you stick me with this painful, disabling disease? \"How dare you kill me? \"How dare you call yourself a just and loving God? \"How dare you friends say that I shouldn't be angry. \"What do you know about it? \"You're not going through what I am. \"You can't feel what I'm feeling. \"You can't know what I know. \"As I face death, I have questions, \"and I challenge what I have believed, and I am angry. \"I wonder why me. \"I feel the injustice of it all. \"I feel unfaired against. \"why shouldn't I be angry? \"After all I'm not really that much worse than anybody else? \"Do I really deserve all this.\" One of the things that makes me the most angry when I'm angry is that people don't take me seriously. They say, well, you know, Henderson's had a bad year, he's had a bunch of complications. He's angry, we expect that. We'll just humor him, and hope he gets over it. I'm sure you've all experienced that you know. That's not a unique thing to my situation. I remember when I was a teenager people were always telling me I was going through a phase. It was very much the same thing. Sometimes my anger is not that evasive, generalized, undirected kind of anger you hear so much about, that's maybe 5% of it. Most of it's very specific, and very directed. And you can listen to it without any intelligence particularly, or without even any great difficulty. And you can often even do something about it. At the very least you can listen, so that I know that I'm not so weird to feel that way. Chances are if I'm in the hospital, the food is rotten. You know, there probably is a grouchy nurse in the night shift. If I worked the night shift, I certainly would be grouchy. There's a lot of things that are just sort of generally difficult about being in the hospital. Many of my friends don't visit me, 'cause they're feeling uncomfortable and they don't know what to say. And others are visiting much too long, maybe shouldn't come at all. And some of these things are things you can listen to and do something about. I have some anger that rises out of my situation. The uneasiness of not being able to give anymore, when I'm very ill. At least not in the ways that I'm used to, I have to figure out new ways of being productive and helpful, the usual sense of that. My decisions are made for me. I don't have much independence, I have to be very dependent upon other people. And that often makes me very tense and angry. And this kind of anger I may take out the most at the people who are trying to be the most helpful. And I must admit I have a hard time dealing with that myself, when one of my counselees gets angry at me, I feel like saying, well for God's sakes I'm just trying to help, and you get angry. And yet, sometimes when Phyllis helps she makes me feel like a baby. And it doesn't matter how well she helps, it's just something inside of me, it's something in the situation that makes me feel that way. On the other hand, if she doesn't help, I figure she's cold and heartless, and either way she loses you see. And so it's important for us to be able to talk some of those things out, and for me to understand it. But understanding does not make anger go away, it just makes it a lot easier to work with, and it's a lot less painful and hurtful. Some people have the idea if they understand, and can analyze everything that's going on with them, then their emotions disappear. I think maybe we can put our emotions in better perspective, but emotions are not intellectually based. We don't explain them away. And I have some generalized kinds of anger. It's the same anger I get every morning when I go on my diet, and I see a skinny little thing rocking around with a candy bar. And they never gain an ounce. And I don't care what you say, it isn't fair. And so sometimes I'm angry, and I wonder why me, or why now? What makes me so bad that this should happen to me? And one of the things I found out about acceptance is that acceptance doesn't mean that I get the answers to those questions. It means that I learn to live with those questions, and I put them into perspective, and I learn I can grow from the questions, whether I get the answers or not. In fact if you know people that know answers to those basic questions, those are the ones I'm worried about. 'Cause it means that their emotions are so neatly into little boxes that they're really not feeling what's going on with their lives anymore. I have been depressed, and that's quite an admission for me. I would never allow myself to be depressed. I was the one who always smiled, and always joke. And I still do that a lot, that's part of me. But it wasn't okay for me to be down, to be depressed. Now I knew there were a lot of bad things going wrong with me, and so I got to a point where it's okay for me to be blue. I have no idea what the difference between blue and depressed is, but it was real important for me for a long time to be blue, and never depressed. Let me just read you a little bit about my feelings on depression. \"As I begin to face \"more and more of the reality of my dying, \"it's very depressing. \"After all, if you love me and I die, \"you face a loss of one person, I face the loss of everyone. \"I'm not sure, but maybe I'll even lose myself. \"I'm depressed, don't tell me I'm sick, \"I'd be sick if I weren't depressed when facing death. \"I have my own feelings about depression, \"not only from facing death, but from looking \"at other important transitions, such as adolescents. \"I think depression is an inward moving, \"sometimes at an open conscious level, \"sometimes at a more subtle preconscious level. \"It is looking inside at what I really am, \"looking for my strengths, \"and for the real essence of my soul. \"As I face death, I have questions such as who am I? \"At any time in my life, this inward searching, \"this groping with myself is very painful. \"It means the stripping away of sham of hypocrisy. \"It means destroying many comforting, \"and safe defenses, and roles. \"I'm not sure what I'm going to find underneath, \"this is very scary. \"As I face death, I search frantically for meaning, \"and for the strength to understand and overcome. One of the real problems with depression I think is the attitude that this society has about it. It's sort of one of the alternate dirty words. And I know even as a counselor it used to be that when I found somebody deeply depressed I would quickly shuffle them on to another professional, before they committed suicide on me. And I think maybe that's one of the real fears of depression, that I'll lose control, that I'll go crazy, or that I am crazy in fact. And so a lot of the labels, and the assumptions that we have about depression, have made depression very scary. And I think it's our fear of depression that makes it such an unconstructive period for many people, not depression itself. Because in a way depression is sort of the transition to some new understandings, and a new way of looking at life and at death. There ought to be an easier way, but I've noticed with myself, and with most of my clients when it comes to really making major life changes, and to looking at new ways of living, maybe new enlightenments about the self, it almost always takes depression to get there. And I haven't found any other routes that work for most people. So it's important that I allow myself this depression, because it's then that I really begin to confront what's going on with me. And so I put a lot of those decisions aside because they simply don't have to be made. There's also sort of a safety defense here. I don't make decisions because I'm liable to make stupid ones. Depression is a kind of a naked, vulnerable time, and it's a time perhaps when we should shelve decisions for a while and wait until later to make them. Let me say a few words about acceptance. When I first realized that I was quite accepting of my death I couldn't share it with other people. Because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to say it right. And people would think that because I accepted death, I wanted to die, that it was a sort of a passive suicide. And you see that's not it at all. Acceptance of life and acceptance of death, are the same thing. If I can accept death, it lifts a great fear off of living, and it makes it much easier to live fully, and with a lot more joy. And if I can live very fully in the present, and accept myself as I am now, then the future is not so fearful. I don't have to have all that future in order to develop, in order to be a good person. It was sort of interesting to me that as I faced death it was very much a life orientation. The questions I asked myself were not what death itself was like, or what after death was like, that came much later. The initial question I think I asked myself was if I'm going to die, if I'm not going to live very long, what's the sense of me living in the first place? And so I really looked at myself, and my values, and what I stood for, and what I believed, and what was important. And that had a lot to do with the acceptance, of arriving at priorities and values. Another reason that acceptance is difficult to talk about, is there are too many people listening. Often at hospital, someone will say, I fought long enough, I've had enough, I'm ready to die, and it's okay with me. It's gonna be okay. And the reaction so often is, oh, don't you talk that way, you're getting the best possible care. And so the most special gift that this person has to offer is cut off. For me acceptance means so many things, and I'm just gonna touch a couple. It means that I began to make an integration of what's going on with me. You see my physical condition is part of who I am. It's not all of who I am, but it is part of me, and I need to accept it as part of me. I have that choice, it can always be something outside that I'm always fighting, sort of like the enemy. I haven't got enough energy for that fight, nobody does. And so it's a fight I will lose if I choose to do it that way. There are also people that tell me to go ahead and live normally as if there's nothing wrong with me. Well, it's really abnormal to live normally when you're abnormal, it doesn't work that way. And it also, it's a very hollow way of living. Because if I can accept what's going on with me, if I can accept my physical condition as part of myself, several things happen. First of all, it's put into a different perspective, it's only a part of me, it's not all of me. For a while I was sort of the walking kidney transplant, and not very much else. And as I accepted more and more what I was, and my condition as part of it, it slipped into better perspective. And also as I can accept what's going on with me, it can become a strength. And so I can do what I'm doing now because of my experiences, not despite them. I can work with children who have learning disabilities because I've got some myself, not despite them. And I make that choice you see. They can either be a strength, or always be a handicap. That does not mean however, I want you to tell me you think how much you've learned, that's easy for you to say, but it ain't worth it. It's too hard a way to do it. And I would just assume to have learned an easier way, but nevertheless I have learned. In a strange way, if I can except the insecurity of my living, my life becomes very secure, and very stable. I was in the hospital last month, I might be in tomorrow. I could catch pneumonia next week, I don't know those things. Those are all very real possibilities. And because of that, I can't be waiting until next week, or next month to do the things that are important to me. And so I have to be living very fully right now. And so in a strange way, you see if I'm gonna live at all, the insecurities forced me to live very fully, and very completely, and with a lot of joy right now. And that's about the most secure and stable kind of life that you can have. Another thing that I learned about was love. And as I searched into myself to find out what was important, and perhaps what was special about me I think it's the unique properties of love as I can express, and as each one of us can express it. Love is one of the few things that has no timed limits. I love fully to give in second. Now some of the people I do marriage counseling with seem to think that if I stick it out long enough they'll learn to love each other, and they almost always get bored first. It's nice, if you can do it for a long time, but only if it's full each second of that long time. Love is also special because no matter how disabled I am, and no matter how sick I am, it's still something that I can offer. I don't even have to be able to talk. And love is also special because at least as we know it, it can end. I can die, Phyllis can die, or Phyllis can wake up and realize her mistake. And if all those things weren't possibilities you see, I'd probably take love for granted. And one of the unique experiences I had with love, is that my father gave me my kidney. And it's quite a long, painful operation for him. I would not have been able to receive the kidney, if I didn't know it was as important for him to give, as for me to receive. And that's a special intimate love bond, that I wouldn't trade anything for, it was worth the entire experience.\r\n\r\n- You know, one of the most important things in helping someone who's dying is being willing to fumble, and to look foolish. So I would like y'all to look foolish, and stand up, and stretch. So you have a chance to move around a little bit, it's too long to sit. Can y'all hear me in the back? Yeah, okay. In January of this year, Steve and I sold our house, and bought a used motor home, and we live in that now full time. We travel around North America, doing work in death and dying, and we're only home in Virginia, about five days a year. I was very glad to do this. I wanted to do it, and I was excited about it, but I still had some feelings of loss, when I left Virginia. Some of the people I cared about were there, and the spiritual community was there. And I think that's where the expression good grief must come from. Because even in good changes in our lives, we have a kind of a grief about what we've had to give up in order to have the good. And unless we're willing to grieve those changes, we can't fully accept the new. So while we're talking about physical death tonight, because it's the only experience we have, I think we're also talking about all the kind of deaths that you all have gone through. The death that you go through when there's a divorce in the family, and you have to grieve not being a whole family, or not being maybe a two parent family. You're still a whole family, you're a different kind of a family after that, and you must grieve that before you can go on. When a parent gives birth to a handicapped child, that's a real death, because first they have to grieve the healthy fantasy child that was in their mind for nine months, and that was not born to them. And only then can they fully embrace the child that was born. So I hope these feelings we're talking about won't be strange to you, but only the outward circumstances will be different. We call our work death and dying because they're two different things. A lot of people see death as just a moment in time, and a transition. I see it that way I think. But no matter what you think is going to happen after death, or no matter how strong your faith, first comes dying, and dying can be very painful, and that's what we're talking about tonight. I was telling your group the other day that some social scientists in Chicago did a man on the street interview. And they asked people at random, how long do you think the grieving process lasts? And the people, the average answer was two days, to two weeks. And those of you who have grieved, know what a laughable thing that is, because grieving starts long before the death, and it goes on long after. When one person in a family is dying, everyone in that family faces their own deaths, and goes through all of the feelings of denial, and bargaining, and anger, depression, acceptance, numbness, loneliness. Each person has to go through their own. And so the grieving starts I think the minute you know, somebody is dying. One of the things I often talk about is how invisible I as a family member have felt at times. Going into the hospital, I'm always in the way, they're always asking me to step out into the hall, so they can give Steve a shot, as if we weren't married for 15 years you know. And I think part of my feeling invisibility goes back to when I got married when I was 19, and I didn't know who I was, and I married because I was very much in love, but I also wanted to get away from me, Phyllis, and I thought I could do that by becoming Mrs. Steve. There wasn't any woman's lived then. I think it wouldn't have lasted very long. But I took refuge in Steve, in hiding I think, in Steve. And I used to act one of two ways. I used to act either so angelic that he wouldn't know how rotten I really was, or I used to act super rotten so he'd find out, and we'd get it over with quickly. I didn't know who I was, and so I didn't know that I had any strengths of my own. And so for me, I think one of the great feelings when I found out Steve had a terminal illness was fear that if Steve died, I would also disappear, and there would be no one left. And for the first time somebody needed me, and needed to lean on me. The good thing about that for me was that I began to find out what was needable about me, and that I had strengths that were different from Steve strengths, and that we are two whole people. And that if either one of us dies, the other will go on, there will be grief, but we will go on because we're whole people. So I see that as a good thing that came out of the transplant. I think in the Bible, it says, love thy neighbor as thy self. And I think it means you can't love your neighbor until you can love yourself, because you don't know what love is. And I guess that was the process that started for me at the time of the illness. Another good thing that happened for us was that I had to stop looking at Steve as a knight on a white horse who would save me from myself. And I couldn't look at him as an invalid or a dying person, because he was my husband, and I loved him. And I had to begin to love him as he was, and not as I hoped he would be, or expected he would be, or thought that he would be. And I think maybe then we began to really see each other for the first time, and that was a really good thing. I used to say we stopped fooling around when we found out he had a terminal illness, but that's when we started to fool around. And the things that became uppermost in our minds was is this important to who I am, and who we are to each other, or is it unimportant? And sometimes something that was important meant spending the day going around to flea markets, and what was unimportant meant serving on some boards that we didn't get anything out of, or cleaning out the house. Doing things that we thought people thought we should do, but that we didn't get anything out of doing. We've had many chances to reevaluate important and unimportant because Steve gets sick again quite often. And we wish that didn't happen, but when it does happen, it at least gives us a chance to go back to zero and start over fresh. I was very numb. I don't even know what my feelings were for those fist couple of years of Steve's illness. I went numb because I had to, it was too painful for me to feel all of the confusion, and hurtful feelings that I had. And I think it's okay to go numb. I think that's sort of like a neutral gear, gets you down a hill, that's maybe too steep to walk down by yourself. I think there's a fear of when that numbness will end. Someone said, it's like, when you're frozen in snow and you begin to thaw out, it really hurts when the numbness ends, but only then can you begin to sort out what's happening to you. When Steve was sick we were here in Aimes, and Steve's dad came out from Iowa, and he was very helpful to us, because Steve's family has the ability to love you without possessing you. And I think that's really rare. What that means is that Steve's dad said to me, how are things? And I thought I had to be strong, and I said, everything's just fine. I thought I had to do it all alone, and he didn't push me. He didn't say you're denying, he said, if you ever need to talk, I'll be here. So when I needed to talk I called him, and he was there. And I think if you're going to help anybody, a friend or a family member, you have to be able to love them without owning them. And that means if someone you love is dying and they're denying it, you have to love and accept them in their denial. When you own them, you must push them to be where you want them to be, which is inacceptance. It's really hard to let someone deny, and not push them. But I think that's the only way they can move out of it, is if you let them be where they are, and make that a safe place for them to be. Steve's family also taught me a lot about how important touch is. It's more important than anything I can say, maybe if I can hold your hand when you're dying. I grew up in New England, and I never saw my parents touch the whole time they were married, never saw them hold hands even. And Steve's family are huggers. And I used to plan to meet them at the door, with dishes in my hand, so we didn't have to hug. It sounds so funny now. After they got over across the threshold it was a good visit. But now I'm a hugger because I understand that the human touch can transcend, and can go places where words can't go. Steve was in counseling psychology, when he got sick. You would think maybe that would have helped us talk to each other, I think it made it worse. Maybe when you're in psychology, you think you should know. It's like when you're a nurse, and you find out you have cancer, you're not a nurse, you're a person who has cancer, and it hurts. And I would encourage you, don't help somebody because they're a minister, or a counselor, or a nurse, and remember that when they hurt, they're just a person who hurts. We thought we had to be brave for each other, because nobody would say the word dying to us. That's changing, but the counselors, the ministers, the doctors, nobody would say it. And so there's something very scary about something nobody will say. I think it's still true today. People don't say to each other, I'm sorry to hear you have cancer. They don't wanna say that word. They don't say, I'm sorry, your husband Jim died, they say, I'm sorry about your recent difficulty. And that makes it impossible to talk about. So we were brave, and quotes around the word brave, 'cause I don't think it's what brave is, we were lonely and isolated in our experience, until the time of the transplant. When we realized it might not be next week that he died, it might be next year, or the year after that. And how could we stay separated when we were so close in every other way. And we began to be willing I think, to not know what we needed to say, and to try anyway. And I think that's important when you're helping someone. You won't know what to say, but you need to be willing to try anyway, in all of your awkwardness, in all of my awkwardness. I need to go ahead and try. It was very hard to live in the present for a number of years. It seemed that if Steve were singing as he's sung tonight, then the more beautiful the song, the more unhappy I would be. Because part of me would be saying, I must remember this, because I may never hear him sing this song again. And so I was like a walking scrapbook, and I was living in a future time when Steve was gone, looking back at me listening to Steve sing, and I was never really here. And I think when you're in crisis, you can't see very well, and you can't hear very well, and you can't live now. It's too painful a place to be. So my time at Iowa is kind of blurry, and it's nice to come back and be able to really see the people that I care about here, because I was like, it was like I was underwater I think. There was so much coming in at me then. One of the things that when people help me is the most important is if they are brave enough to be vulnerable. We have nurses say to us sometimes but what if I lose control and cry? I think there's a difference between losing control, and letting go of control. When you're always afraid to lose control, as I certainly was when Steve was sick, I walked around like this inside, outside I looked okay. But when I can let go of my need for control, I can relax, and know that if I cry when I'm helping somebody who's dying that person will know I really care. They're not gonna damn me for crying. The nurses and doctors who cried with me are the people who gave me the most precious gift, 'cause they said they were on my side. Because the transplant was so experimental, the doctors were willing to be vulnerable. And that's very hard for doctors because they're taught that they shouldn't say, I don't know, that the patient wants them to know. But we would say, how long does Steve have to live? And they would say, I don't know, and I wish I knew. And that put them down here with me, my feelings didn't seem so strange, because I knew they had those feelings too. It wasn't like they were up here, perfect, and that would leave me alone. Steve's kidney did not work for a week, and that's very unusual with a live donor, usually it starts on the operating table. And so the day it started, they put up, the doctors and nurses, a big banner in the hall and it said, Henderson put out 72 ccs. And that kind of vulnerability, I believe speeds healing, whether it's psychological healing, or emotional healing, or medical healing, I think it speeds it when we can share our feelings. I wanna talk just a little bit about strength, because I sure did have a warped idea of what strength was. We married in June of 63. And in the fall of that year, we saw John Kennedy's funeral on television. I'll never forget that day, because I was new working at the atomic energy commission here on campus, and I was responsible for closing the vault that held the secret documents. And in all the confusion of John Kennedy's death I forgot to twirl the knob I think, I don't know to this day what happened. And early in the morning, they called me up and they said, did you close the vault? And I said, I don't remember. And they said, well then somebody may have come in and stolen something, so we have to inventory every secret document in the AEC vault. I thought I was gonna be hung the next day. But the other thing I remember about John Kennedy's funeral was how much I admire Jacqueline. She was poised, her mascara didn't even run, she was beautiful. And I thought that's what it meant to be strong. And I wish the television commentators had said, listen folks, in private Mrs. Kennedy cries, and she doesn't sleep, and she can't eat, and she yells at people, because she loses her temper, because she feels so powerless. That's strength, letting herself be where she is, but I didn't know that. And you see the image of her fit right in with my new England upbringing. And when Steve got sick, people said to me, you're so strong, and you handle everything so well. And I said to myself, I'm so strong, and I handle everything so well, but I knew that I didn't. And so I went numb inside, it was too much. The other way I tried to control things is that I went to bed at night, planning. I would go to bed and I would say now tomorrow, the doctors might say Steve has to have this operation, and I'll say this, and I won't cry, and I'll do this. And then when that thing happened, either I didn't have any emotions left, or the thing didn't happen, but I was just as tired as if it did. It was another way of living in the future, and not being right here right now. Having to control your feelings means you can't be in the experience. And that's very different from being able to let go of your need for control. I remember I finally was able to cry, and that was the day just before Steve was going up for his transplant. He was going up for a 10 hour operation, and his dad was going up for six hour operation to give the kidney. And part of me felt really glad I could cry. It was like a release of pressure. And the head nurse on the unit came over to me and she said, I want you to go in there and say goodbye to your husband with a smile on your face. And I was so stupid that I did. And I smiled, and so Steve had to smile, and we didn't have that precious time. But now for me to be strong means I can say to the nurse, I'm sorry if it upsets you if I cry, maybe you'd better go somewhere else. And what I don't ask but what I hope is maybe you'll be strong enough, and professional enough to cry with me. And maybe when I leave, you'll find someone who can hear your tears, because you can't be a nurse if you can't find someone who can hear all of the feelings that you have to bear when people die. I couldn't get angry at Steve. How can you be angry at someone you love, who is dying? What if I got furious at him and left the house and came back and he had died? How would I live with that? And so I began to treat him not only as a physical invalid, but as an emotional invalid. I began to think he can't take all of me, or all of our relationship. And it was like those football games where they have a ten second, or those radio programs, so there'd be sure nobody says anything I've seen. I would have a feeling, and then I would have to examine the feeling, and say, is this an okay feeling to share? Or is it anger, or depression, or fear, and I can't share those? And so the spontaneity was beginning to be lost in our relationship. Now when we're angry, we try to be honest about where that anger is coming from, and say that. And if we don't know, we just try to say I don't know why I'm so upset, but you need to know about my upsetness, 'cause I can't pretend to be who I'm not. There were days, about four years ago, when Steve was so disabled, when he would moan with pain. And I felt so powerless to help. I couldn't do anything, and yet I was forced to watch him hurt. And out of that came a rage. I would want to hit him with a brick to get him to stop moaning. And it seemed so wrong, I thought what's wrong with me? How can I get angry when the person I love is so in pain? But then I realized, it's this powerlessness, you want to do something. And I think I began for the first time to understand parents who hit a baby, because the baby won't stop screaming. It doesn't come out of hate, it comes out of love, and powerlessness, and our feelings of inadequacy, and that we are to blame for the pain, even though we know up here we're not. Our emotions take on some of that responsibility I think. In Canada, we were in Canada last month, and a woman told me she was raised with this slogan. Her mother used to say it to her, a girl worthwhile is a girl who can smile. Isn't that horrible? And she said, even today she has trouble getting angry, because you see when she gets angry, she isn't a worthwhile person. And when people say to me, think positive, I get that same message. And we're bonded to anything we love. When we marry, we certainly marry with ambivalent feelings, and in the love relationship, there's all kinds of feelings. And so when somebody dies, and you say to them, think positive, you allow them only to release the positive feelings. And all those other feelings like anger get locked away, and becomes a chronic backache, or migraine headaches. So the way I handle that when people say that to me, is I translate it to mean, feel fully. So that when I am angry, I am positively furious. All of me is angry, and it passes from me, and then there's room for a new feeling. That means then when I can hear Steve sing, I can be positively delighted, I can be totally happy, and there aren't sad little pieces of me that I've been carrying around. And I think there is no such thing as good feelings and bad feelings. There's just feelings. I'm just gonna talk for a couple more minutes, and then we wanna have time for questions. It was very hard, it's still is very hard for me to learn to accept help. I think that caregivers are notoriously bad receivers. Nurses make the worst patients. Because those of us who go into caring professions do it because we want to be the ones who give, and we do it out of love, I don't think we do it out of manipulation. But then when we are on the receiving end, when people would even give me presents, I would always have to give them back something, to be sure, you know, that I wasn't, I don't know what. I could never have traveled around the country as we do now, four years ago even. Because we're a nonprofit service, so it means often we live in somebody's driveway, and all our meals in their house, and there's no possible way for us to pay it back. And that would have been a living hell for me before. But one of the things I've learned about receiving is that my being able to receive the gifts you have to give me, is a gift I give you. If I can receive it graciously and say, thank you. It's like when someone pays you a compliment and says, what a beautiful dress, and you say, this thing, and you make them feel bad for having offered the gift of a compliment, because they can't accept it. Do you know what I mean by that? So if you're a caregiver, one of the gifts you have to give, to the people you're helping, is to receive from them. To ask yourself, what is this person who is dying, what is it that they can give me? And that I can let them know I receive. Maybe you can say to them, teach me how to help you, because you know better than anybody, how I can help you, this individual. And then they can give you the gift of teaching you, and they will teach you. Or tell me what your life is like, and let them give you that gift, and restore some of their dignity as the person being helped. People used to call me and say, can I do anything? And I used to say, oh no thank you, I don't need a thing, I'm strong, I'm self-sufficient. And they stopped calling. Because how can you care for someone to whom you can give nothing? And then I learned to grit my teeth, and sometimes even ask someone to mow my lawn, because if they said no, they were just turning down my lawn. But I would challenge you that every person in crisis, what they really want, isn't their lawn mowed. What I really wanted is when someone called me and said, do you need anything? I really wanted to say yes, and I don't know what it is, but I think it's just your presence in a way. But if we can be there, that's what's really important. There was a young man on the kidney transplant unit where Steve had his transplant, who was about eight years old. And his father gave him a kidney, and then deserted the family, and they never saw his father again. And Elwood had to conclude, that his father did not want to give that kidney. And so Elwood stopped taking his pills and he rejected the kidney. Because how can you receive something from someone who doesn't care for you? If you don't let the people you're helping know you care for them, they cannot receive what you have to give. I would just say two other things to you as caregivers if you're helping a friend. Be honest with yourself. You may be too close to that person. It may hurt you too much to help. I couldn't be a caregiver when my father died, I did all the wrong things because I was his daughter. I did expect myself to be a caregiver, now I think I could be more gentle with myself, and be honest and say, I can't be the one to help you, but I'll get you someone who can, I won't abandon you. And be honest with the person you're helping. You won't kill them with your honesty. You may kill them if you're dishonest, because they'll never know what they can ask of you, if you won't tell them the truth when you can't give. And the other thing is to ask yourself what you get out of helping me, if I'm a family member. And if you can't find something that you're getting out of it, don't help me. You won't be able to anyway, 'cause I'll know you aren't getting anything. I have nothing to give you. If I can't satisfy some of your needs, then you can't give to me. I think in the beginning of our experiences, I often had the question, why are these things happening to me? But lately the question has been changing, and it has changed to, what am I going to become, because these things are happening? If I'm not changing and becoming, because of what happens in my life, then my life is just a wasted experience, it's worth nothing. So I think if you can learn from the deaths in your lives, and become from them, then they can be gifts, and not punishments. I wanna stop. And Steve, why don't you come up, and we'll just have questions. If anyone has a tape recorder, would you please shut it off now.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://iastate.aviaryplatform.com/collections/1150/collection_resources/43662/file/116754#t=0.0,4086.576"}]}]}]}